Cheddary Goodness That Just Ooozes Its Love

A new for the new week. Get down on it!

1. This one's from Lileks: �Families of terrorists who blow up men, women and children, some of whom are Americans, no longer receive money from Saddam, because Saddam no longer rules Iraq. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Explain.�
Any way to chop more power away from Saddam is a good thing, especially when it might result in less deaths of US soldiers in Iraq, speed up the rebuilding process and allow the US to get its big, fat, stinking nose out of there.

2. You've got the Magic Button of Death. Every time you press the button the person you want to kill will die. One other random person will also die. Do you use the button? Who do you whack?
Can I change the button to a Magic Button of Uncontrollable Defecation? I'd have no problems inflicting horrible diarrhea on someone but I'm just not ethically programmed to end life.

Okay, with my rewired MBofUD, I would hit Bush a good twenty times a day (yes, even with the "curse" of inflicting the same upon a random person), I'd also have to get Rumsfeld, Carrot Top, Ashcroft, Dick Cheney, how about Sharon Osbourne too? Let's see, lots of people in need of uncontrollable bowel distress. Dick Grasso but that's more because I think he's been too wound up and could use the release a good shit could give him. Madonna, lots of Madonna. The cast of Friends but I'd first make them all be locked in a room with one bathroom (hey, did I just invent a new grotesque reality show?). Will and Grace, done. Dharma, done, done, done and done some more. Al Davis, oooooh yeah. Wankers like the corrupt CEOs from WorldCom, Enron and the Adelphia guys. I think I could likely go on and on forever. The Magic Button of Uncontrollable Defecation is a scary and fun power to have.

Or how about a Magic Button of Truth, when you press it the target cannot lie?

3. You've won a million dollars with the conditions that you can only use it to purchase things for yourself and anything you haven't spent in a month is forfeit. What do you buy?
For me, easy, land, lots of it, on the ocean so I can build a house with another chunk of the money. A cherry Porsche 914 with the V-8 conversion engine in it (can you say 0-60 approaching motorcycle times?). New tech fun: top of the line Apple Powerbook, 40 gig iPod, the hugest damn flat screen monitor/TV available, the new Clie UX90 when it finally gets around to coming out late next year. Season tickets for the Giants and A's games. Kayaks, sailboats (little ones), mountain bikes. And skydiving and pilot lessons (sure, I'd have to wait to get the plane but that's cool).

It wouldn't be any problem at all to spend it.

4. You've won a million free and clear. What do you do with it?
See 3 above though I'd make sure my homies and I had one hell of a good party or ten. P would get the car she wants and her own shop to cut hair or not, whatever she wanted to do. Trips to South Africa (maybe drop $30K for a house or two down there), Europe, Mexico. Skydiving. I'd have a damned fine time. Oh yeah, pay off debts, yadda, yadda, yadda.

5. What song or band do you listen to when you want to reminisce or visit a moment in your past? What's the moment?
This may seem strange but I listen to NWA (Niggas with Attitudes) when I want to revisit my youth, growing up in the countryside of rural Vermont. The Dead always makes me think about prep school.

6. Or, is there a song that defines a period in your life?
Yep, plenty of moments in my life have been punctuated by a song or two. Eazy E's "Boys in the Hood" from NWA stands out. We must have listened to it fifty times one summer, Jeff and I out at the cabin or at the house, drinking, having a good time and being hicks playing tree darts, going swimming in places all over the Upper Valley, chopping down trees to burn, late night parties out at the cabin. Yeah, that'll work.

7. Can you know what someone is like just based on how they look or act without meeting them?
To a certain degree, yes. But people are far more complex than superficial appearances. The guy duded out like a punker may actually be a different person under the costume. The question I was trying to get to had something to do with pre-judging people based on appearances but it was hard to get at properly. I think it is possible (and, to some degree, a time saving requirement) to draw some basic conclusions about people based on their appearance and demeanour. If a guy scowls at his girlfriend all the time then I'm going to presume that he's a bit of a dickhead. If two have their arms around each other, or they're always in contact then I'll think much more kind thoughts. Its natural to shuffle people into labels because there is just not enough time to meet and get to know everyone decently well enough to form informed opinions. So we label, accept or discard and move on to the next new face and attitude.

There ya go, a long winded this week but some fun questions. Now go get your own!