The Smell of Fear
I just got into the office after starting my day at the county courthouse showing my support for a pal who's facing a serious long term prison sentence. Regulars might remember the first time I wrote about it and my arguments for and against taking part. Due in no small part to your comments and thoughts, I did go and did show my support for him.

I'm glad I did because there were not a whole lot of people that showed up. Aside from his immediate family, his girlfriend and brother, there were two of us from the 'hood there. I went for a couple of reasons. One, I told him that I would do my best to be there for him and I do try to be a man of my word. Two, I don't think his life should be forfeit based on what I know of the cases against him. Three, yes, there is a facet of morbid curiosity to the whole process in the same way that people always rubberneck when passing by a car wreck. Four, I'd not been able to write a letter of support for him and this was the best way to demonstrate it.

The more warm bodies in attendance on his behalf, the better.

Do you know what the inside of a courtroom smells like? If you say its anti-septic and slightly dusty then you would be wrong. The inside of a courtroom smells like fear, like desperation, like individuals resigned to their fates, like gamblers desperately hoping that the dice will land right for them and they won't face their days in prison. It is an unsettling odor and I'll smell it for the rest of the day or maybe until I go to the hospital for P's ultrasound in an hour or so.

One thing that struck me as odd and potentially illegal was the DA or ADA referred to his current case and declared him guilty of the present robbery. It was one of those moments when I expected someone to shout, "Objection" but no one did. He's not been convicted of the charge yet and calling him guilty is completely unwarranted. But it slipped by and no one said a thing.

I sat with an old friend from the neighborhood who I've not seen in a long time, she's got a dazzling smile and is really just a wonderfully good person and I wish we could spend more time together. We shared thoughts during the process and the one thought that kept running through my mind was, "That could be me if just a few things had gone differently in my life" I've started down that path that he's on and reversed my course, to my brother's happy surprise and the rest of the family's as well. There but for the grace of luck and circumstance go I. It could have been me standing there in the orange jumpsuit, facing a judge who looked bored by the day's proceedings, in a room with strangers and a few allies. It was scary and enlightening, it was a powerful reminder to be thankful for all that I have, all that I am expecting, all that life has given me and the positive direction my future is moving towards.

And with that final thought, I give you
Today's Quote
We are fallible. We certainly haven't attained perfection. But we can strive for it, and the virtue is in the striving.
- Carlos P. Romulo