Would You Rather Cheddar or Provolone?

Some fun with options in this week's Cheddar X. We start with a Would You Rather.... and finish up with a short stack of questions.

So, Would I Rather.....
Sing country songs buck naked to the PTA or come across your "art" photos on a porn site?
I'll go with the "art" photos. I know they're out there already since I had someone in a chat once send me my own pic as him.

Have a biker gang for neighbors or five chatty Chihuahuas within barking distance?
Chihuahuas. A biker gang can and will go forever and might just blow up the neighborhood making meth. Little yappy dogs are annoying but they don't tend to do burnouts in your flower beds.

Be addicted to sniffing modeling glue or be addicted to huffing butane from Bic lighters?
I've never seen a huffer but I've seen little kids addicted to modelling glue. I'll take the unknown evil over the incredibly sad known evil.

Lick a 9 volt battery or lick the bottom of your foot?
Either. No worries.

Ketchup soup or mustard soup?
Ketchup soup's just a weak and lame version of tomato. Mustard soup sounds like it might be on its way to being a nice sauce for salmon.

Live in a great house in a place you don't like or a bad house in a place you love?
I'll take the great house in a place I don't like. Close in suckage environment is far worse, to me, than a shitty place outside the doors.

Spend a weekend at a spa or spend a weekend camping?
Camping. We're going next week, first camping trip with dog, baby and new car. Oh boy!

And finally, just a couple of questions this week to maintain the continuity.
1. What would you host a cable tv program about?
I'd like to think that I could pull off doing what Jon Stewart does on The Daily Show but I know I'm not even close to being even partially as funny as he is. How about a show dedicated to funky web shit, insanely cool sporting moments, unusual video footage, making fun of idiots in the news and product reviews. Kind of what I do now for IP but it'd be cooler and there'd be hot chicks and stuff too.

2. What or who do you lust for?
Lately I've been wishing for some way to get a nice huge fish tank to move all the fish into. I feel guilty about not giving them more space to live in.

I'd also really like to get one of the cool new Airport Express's or another MP3 device to get my collection accessible via the stereo downstairs. And I'd like to wire the house for sound.

3. You've got a spare $5,000, what do you do with it?
A nice new big hot tub which should leave me just enough left over for a case of beer to enjoy with the new tub.

4. How often do you see your family?
Not anywhere near often enough lately. There are some distinct disadvantages to having your family reside 3000+ miles away. Its not my fault they haven't seen the light yet and come west. But my mom flies in on Friday and will spend just about every waking moment cooing over the baby which is just what grandma's are supposed to do.

And there's my Cheese for this week.