12.28.2003

Politics and An Animatronic First Lady
Is it just me or does Laura Bush look like one of the crappy animatronic animals from Jumanji? She is the most wooden and stiff, prozac/whiskey/zanax/valium cocktailed person I think I've ever seen. I wonder if she has a special person on her staff that just takes her pulse every so often to make sure she's still alive. She has the same pasted on smile on her face, the one that I read as oh-my-god-I-married-the-dumbest-redneck-ever-and-now-he's-president-and-I'm-going-to-hell-for-it.

I don't think I've heard her speak in like three years (just as ol' Shrub wants her, mute) and as perfectly coifed as a wax model. She makes Al Gore look positively lifelike in her ability to play the puppet.

The animatronic Laura Bush 'bot has held up so well, even withstanding little Shrubbie's chubby bumpers and that occasional laugh-at-sodomy-laws back door lovin', it must have been made by the Japanese.

Apparently Howard Dean's a little bit of a "free spirit" in that he doesn't toe the party line, doesn't color between the lines always and is the Democrats best chance to unseat Laura's woefully outwitted husband. The others, I can't even figure why Joe Lieberman runs, there's truly just no way a guy without a lower jaw is going to get elected President. That and he's a freakin' doormat. John Kerry mortgaged his house to keep his campaign going, yeah, right, you're saying John who? Exactly the point. Save your house and throw it in, dude. Al Sharpton? Is he kidding? Does he not realize that he's a living caricature of himself? Who else? Gephardt? Okay, a reasonably valid potential candidate but his stage presence is abysmal and he's got no real chance. Clark? Just a bit too whacked for most Americans, I'd bet. Kucinich? The guy makes alot of sense but I just don't think he's got the firepower to run with Dean. We'll see. All I know is that my motto for the 2004 Presidential Election is: Anybody but Bush. Four more years of Bush inspired stupidity might just cause our country to truly auger in.

Anyway, that's all I've got, just a few lines tossing poo at low hanging fruit.

But wait, there IS more.

Tomorrow is the final inspection on the house after some snafus. With some luck we will be finishing up the buying process on the 7th and possibly even starting to move in that following weekend. All good stuff because we're ready to change scenery. I'm currently learning about circular saws, work benches, home improvement books, bed platforms, crib plans, how to de-texturize walls, considering home security, dog breeds, dog houses, flag stone patios, fence replacement, wall destruction, skylight installation, garage work shops, pick up trucks, dump runs, versa-saws, wet dreams about Bob Vila and the decorating crews on TLC, motorcycle trade-ins, craigslist, craigslist, craigslist, hot tubs, saunas, greenhouses, carpentry, plumbing, kitchen remodeling and the ominpresent invisible meter ticking down to the arrival of Baby Huh next July.

Let's toss in a decent ride or two this week, maybe a trip to the shooting range, maybe the purchase of a 50 gallon fish tank and stand. And some late night painting parties at Paul's new place, getting my lip torn a bit by Modoc (the Weimerauner) in his excitement, selling off my inflatable boat at the yard sale this weekend, watching a nice fresh and untapped bottle of vodka slip from a grip and explode on the concrete front porch, learning neighborhood news, kyfing fresh nugs, lecturing in-laws about the evil that is Walmart, returning wedding gifts on Boxing Day (smart move!) and having a couple of Macy's gift cards to play with. And king sized beds!

Thank you and good night.

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