Welcome to the Most Ostentatious Time of the Year
Welcome folks, one and all, to the most irritating time of the year. The time of the year when car makers and diamond pimps try to coerce, guilt or force people into buying cars and big, expensive diamonds for their loved ones.
Its time for the commercials of wives surprising their husbands with a new Lexus or new Jaguar.
Its time for ads that show husbands lavishing six thousand dollar diamond pendants on their wives.
Its time for people to take on some extra massive consumer debt to prove that you love them. Because, as everyone knows, if you don't spend more than you can afford to for Christmas presents then you're a fucking asshole loser who should be kicked in the teeth and then kicked in the nuts.

I hate Christmas, I hate this entire month of false piety, I hate the aura of spend, spend, spend. I hate the advertising that attempts to make me feel bad because I won't be spending five thousand dollars on presents for my family and wife. I hate the fact that sometimes they succeed.

Who buys a car for their spouse at Christmas? Do they not realize that they'll be paying for it for the next four or five years? Who spends five thousand bucks on a ring or necklace? What the fuck is wrong with people to think that they have to eat another massive chunk of debt to prove (because dollars don't lie, dontcha know?) their love?

I used to like December, I used to like Christmas. Now I thoroughly hate the whole season because of its utter crassness, the shameless guilt tripping by fucknuts companies using a religious holiday (from a religion that I will never be a part of and is among the most hypocritical sons of bitches there is), I hate the tinkly shitty music being played in the malls, I hate the false cheer, I hate far, far too much about this fake season to want to be a part of it.

To paraphrase South Park, Merry Fucking Christmas.
Now get out there and spend until they say all of your cards are declined, its the American way!

And cue the music, "Its the most ridiculous timeeeeeee, of the year!"