The Clock is Now Officially Running
Sorry if you came looking for my promised Search Word Story, it is pending and I've been working on it but damn, its alot harder than I thought to take the freakishly diverse search terms and weave them into something resembling a story. I've rewritten it a few times and still am not happy with it. Its too easy to just get into bizarre random conversations so I'm going to spin it some more and see what comes up. The other problem is that alot of my recent search terms have been something to do with Elaine Davidson, the holiest chick on the planet with 1903 holes pierced in her skin.

I don't need piercing stuff, I need filthy dirty sex searches, like people looking for lurid nastiness. Stuff like midget porn or amputee porn or pornstars picking up average joes for sex or feet fetish or watersports or cheerleader spanking or coprophilia or other fringe sexual activities. Maybe some upside down toaster lovin' for the appliance fetishists? Or how about those bean bag lovers who spend their Friday nights spending quality time with their furniture? Or maybe I should try and get some of those people searching for nude pics of people like Martha Stewart, Connie Chung, Diane Sawyer, Katie Sagal and Star whatshername on The View. But that would be crass and cheap of me, not when I get such winning searches as people looking for recipes to make their own poison, I'm sure its just for curiousity and not because they want to kill their neighbor's dog or anything like that.
[Update: Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Sex Video, Paris Sex, Paris Hilton infrared love movie, Rick Salomon does Paris Hilton on a grainy green video. Sex, sexy, sexilicious, booty call, the ol' in & out, the horizontal mambo, tube snake boogie, trouser trout technique, malaysian sex spin, Thai basket sex. Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton's Sinful Life.]

Anyway, let's focus, people!

The clock is ticking away now, we're on a deadline to find a house to buy. I ran a whole crapload of numbers last night and arrived at a few realizations. The first is that we can't afford to get into the kind of house we want right now. We have to start smaller and then work our way up. Or, in our likely scenario, we have to buy a house further away from where we want to live and then buy our way back into the neighborhood once we've built up enough equity. The skinny is that we've now expanded our search range to include Watsonville which is less than wholly ideal for me but will work well for P. I'll be commuting about a half hour for a couple of years which will be a bit of a drag but I can live with it. Especially if that means I can buy a fun little car to buzz around in, can anyone say 914? Yeah, I thought so. Either that or I'm thinking a VW Corrado. Something fun.

Two weeks. That's how much time we've got to find and settle on a house. So I'm headed out tonight to check out a couple of places in Watsonville to see where the best neighborhood is, what's closest to the highway, those areas that aren't overrun by people with cars up on blocks on their front lawns and things like that. My concern is that we'll move into a neighborhood filled with buster dumbass knobs with street racer styled Honda Civics or worse. And I'm not quite sure how to best determine that aside from going there and seeing what's like just before dinner time.

But one of the places we're now thinking about has a lot to offer including a greenhouse which would be awesome for the winter, a yard with a fence so we can get a dog again, two car garage so I can store my bikes and motorcycle inside and safe and more. It'll be cool if its in a decent location but if not then we'll just keep looking and hoping that something comes up sooner rather than later.

It is good to know the full story about timing and how much we can spend and when its all got to be done by and the fact that we'd love to get our financing all sorted out before hand but its not a necessity. Speaking of which, I've gotta give a call to my lending company and update them on some numbers (the first set were just a wee bit out of our price range for now).

I'll be working on the story later on today and will try to bang it out tonight. But, in the meantime, I need some cool search terms to find me. Come on all you closeted jackin' freaks, let's see what you got. You need lactating nude wrestlers? How about obese supermodels? Or transgendered monkey lovers? Nah, maybe not.

And, sorry mom!