There's No KY in Justice
In a scene more reminiscent of bad porn than Law & Order, a French judge "discretely" lifted his judicial robe and opened his trousers to expose his penis so he could masturbate while a female lawyer pleaded her case.
Judge Jack Mehoff (identity hidden because I don't know it yet) masturbated for several minutes while she made her case.

I would wager that he wasn't quite discrete enough if he got caught. Now he's undergoing psychiatric examinations to make sure he didn't think he was a priest.

In Unrelated News
A man, in an attempt to generate sympathy for a "large" debt he'd run up, sliced of his tackle. He'd spent the money, ostenisibly gathered to start a business, on hookers and booze.

He wasn't the first guy to do this either, a few months prior, another man chopped his cock off because he owed debtors the whopping sum of $287 (which was 300,000 shillings and sounds like a lot more that way). But come on now, your penis isn't worth at least $300? Hmm, maybe that's a question for the Cheddar X? Or something like it.