Showing posts with label douchebaggery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douchebaggery. Show all posts

2.02.2010

Douchebaggery After Tragedy

Nothing like using a catastrophe to try and introduce your cult religion to the Haitians, eh Barbarino? Flying rations and docs in is laudable, taking up some of that plane's space to bring along some of your Scientology ministers to prey preach on Haitians is unconscionable and I, officially, hate you now. I just disliked you before and felt sympathy for you when your son died. Now I just think you're an asshole.

And now there's further reports that these Scientologists had absolutely no clue about what they were getting into. They brought no food, supplies or even sensible shoes because they assumed they could buy whatever they needed in Haiti. So now they are obstructing the rescue efforts by needing supplies for themselves while they try to spread the word of L. Ron Hubbard to people who've just lost everything.

How and why these idiots were allowed to land in Haiti is beyond me.

11.18.2009

This Week in Douchebaggery

Seems like the douchebaggery quotient has been running a bit higher than normal lately. So I gathered up some examples for you.

Man Blames Planes For Divorce, Seeks $555 Million - not only planes but elevators, buildings and pretty much everything but his own stupid ass self.

10-year-old is tasered by police in Arkansas - funniest comment on the link: This is what happens when they won't sign the marriage license. Baaahhh!

Woman accused of faking breast cancer for implants - do they like big fake boobs in jail?

Poet's Son Says No One Can Quote Father Without Paying Up... Even Academic Dissertations... - I've never heard of Louis Zukofsky but his son sounds like a total loser trying to twist copyright into an income stream. Good luck with that.

No Respect for the Dead - pulling a grieving brother out of a funeral procession to give him a ticket and make him miss his sister's service is the epitome of douchebaggery.

Palin-Beck 2012? - the dream ticket... for the Democrats. He's a lying drama queen, she's a moron with nice legs and a mean streak. Awesome. The only better ticket I can think of would be Cheney/Limbaugh.

2.18.2009

The Stephen Fowler Chronicles

If you aren't aware of who Stephen Fowler is then come on out from under your rock. Fowler has rocketed to infamy because of his stint on a tawdry reality show, Wife Swap, (part 1 of 5 of the show here, links to other parts are there) in which his wife switched places with another wife from Missouri.

Normally the show has some sparks, some reconciliations, some lessons learned and happy reunions.

But Stephen Fowler took it several steps beyond the norm and spent much of the two weeks demeaning, insulting and basically being a complete and utter elitist asshole to his swapped wife.

It was bad enough that the outrage caused people to start a StephenFowlersucks.com website, he's gotten death threats, he's been forced to resign from two boards he was on and I wouldn't be surprised if he and his deeply embarrassed wife have to move away from Noe Valley.

Having now just sat through all five parts of the episode in question, I'm possessed of a strong urge to drive up to Noe Valley and go kick Stephen Fowler's teeth in. I won't, of course, though his address and cell phone have been posted on the internet. He's getting his own payback for his own disgusting elitism and rampant assholery.

There's a difference between being an intellectual, caring about the environment and trying to raise the most awesome overachieving kids possible and being a prick. He's a prick. An embarrassing wanker who represents the worst of what the Bay Area has to offer. If he were a friend of mine, I'd delete his number from my cell. Seeing how unspeakably rude he was over the course of two weeks to a woman who'd swapped places with his wife was just shocking and sad.

His children are going to grow up knowing that they have Stephen Fowler for a father and he's a prick. Sure, a smart and, previous to this infamy, successful prick but a prick with an ugliness that surpasses any positive good he's effecting in the world.

That and those incredibly annoying shirts that he rotated. All black shirts with eco-slogans like Go Solar, Sus-tain-abi-lity (on four lines). I'd like to sustainably introduce his tiny British balls to my large American foot.

On the other hand, his wife, Renee, seems like a truly genuine and good person. She connected with the Long family, she helped to enlighten them, open their eyes to other possibilities and ways of living, that exercise isn't evil, that eating decent healthy food doesn't have to suck and that she wasn't sitting in such horrid and grotesque judgment as her asshat husband.

On Renee's blog for her show, Inside Out Weight Loss, Stephen posted an apology. It appears that he is possessed of genuine remorse for his hateful actions and perhaps he will get help and learn what made him behave in such a colossally ugly fashion. Renee posted about the show and her husband's actions as well.

The sad thing is that there are many, many other Stephen Fowlers around the world. People that think their intellect, education, breeding, money, their big expensive car or big dick gives them the right to demean and denigrate other people.

Judge not lest ye be judged yourself.

Stephen Fowler is being judged and he is being found deeply wanting.

12.15.2008

The Bottom Ten


Taking a cue from a list on the Guardian web site detailing their top twelve douchebags of the year, a third of whom I've never heard of, I thought I'd run down my bottom ten list of jerkoffs, wankers and wastes of space.

10. Bill O'Reilly - so self important that facts and truth cannot penetrate his veil of ignorant hate.
9. Fred Joyal - the 1800-Dentist guy. He just annoys the holy fuck out of me.
8. Rush Limbaugh - smarmy, divisive and completely divorced from honest discussion.
7. Madonna - she's a mean-spirited old cougar who divorced her husband to get together with A-Tool (Alex Rodriguez).
6. Alex Rodriguez - had to be guilted into spending Thanksgiving with his children. You sir, are a douchebag.
5. The Mormon Church - dropping millions of dollars to legislate intolerance, marriage intolerance with your own polygamist history. I hope the backlash teaches a painful lesson about what the separation of church and state is supposed to be about. That and what a boon having a non-profit status is. Jerks.
4. Tom Cruise - attempting to spin your jackassery into a PR positive is a smart move but I'm not buying it and I remain firmly of the mind that you are a complete prick. A wee little one at that.
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger - leaders lead, idiots quote their movie lines because that have nothing of real substance to say. You sir, are an idiot. And a truly shitty governor.
2. John McCain - never before have I seen a man so totally sell out everything he purports to stand for to try and weasel his way into the Oval Office. From selecting Sarah Palin to his campaign of lies, smears and detraction, he sold every last shred of respect and still failed miserably.
1. George W. Bush - a lame duck acting like a limp dick. Good riddance to a dismal failure. Obama Day cannot come soon enough to remove this jackass from power.

That should do it for now. Got a list of the bottom ten you want to share? Post it in the comments or post a link to your blog.

4.05.2008

The Neighbors Who Just Won't Stay Gone

The empty house next to mine isn't so empty all of the time, apparently. I happened to be out on my deck and saw two women enter the house through the sliding glass back door the afternoon.

The same sliding glass door that the asshole's kids broke, on purpose, so that they could get into the house whenever they wanted to while it sits empty. Nevermind the fact that they don't have any rights to the house and are breaking the law by entering it. They don't care in the least because, well, they are fucking idiots.

Anyway, I saw the two women go in and thought they might be a realtor and a client checking things out. But there was no car outside and, when I called the realtor on the board up at the street, she confirmed my concern.

In talking with my other direct neighbors, she said her son has seen both of the asshole's kids in the house and around the neighborhood even though they don't live here. Which is just great to know that a few gang-banging thug wannabe's are using the house attached to mine as a flophouse/drug den/whatever.

Well, guess what ain't gonna fly?

The realtor came out and made sure the place was empty, checked the bar at the back slider and thought it was secure. I had them lock me out on the deck and was able to get back inside in under ten seconds. Her next statement was about getting a locksmith out ASAP.

Which is good. I told her she should post signs and lock both the gates as well.

With some luck the place will sell (it is going for an absolute steal and I'd buy it if I could) and the asshole and his loser children will find some other place to inflict their presence on. I hope our good neighbors are able to buy it, they are good folks and we get along with them really well.

Its amazing to me that this dick and his family haven't lived here in more than a year and they are still making the place uncomfortable. Now that's asshole power!