A Christian at the Door

Ding Dong, went the doorbell and I came downstairs to Nande barking her head off and jumping around at the door.

It was an attractive young lady selling something. She launched into her spiel, handed me a history of the world book and I flipped it over. On the back, it had a list of questions. The very first of which was something like, What did God intend for man to do? Maybe not that but something with God in it. And I stopped her in her spiel, luckily she didn't slip.

I asked her who was the publisher and she showed me some address with a Christian Ministries somewhere or other above it. Ah yes, the skewed and utterly stupid bullshit history of the world as interpreted through narrow scripture. I think they probably had to use an awful lot of "God works in mysterious ways" and "God willed it so"'s.

While I appreciate the fact that she was going door to door hawking her religion's mis-take on history and attempted brainwashing of humanity away from reality and into some pathetic little theological construct where a lifetime of toil and hardship and sacrifice magically qualifies you for an eternity of bliss. Um yeah, sure. Oh wait, you can't even begin to imagine the bliss until you're dead so you'll just have to take their word for it.

Oh no, wait a second, I don't really appreciate people trying to foist their bullshit revisionist histories on me. I appreciate the fact that she was earnest in her beliefs and I hope she might be able to appreciate the fact that I didn't engage her beliefs and see if I could rattle her loose. I might have done so before but I just don't see the point in it now. Instead, I handed her back her book and explained to her that I was an athiest instead of opening the door with my agnosticism or cynical agnosticism as my mood may indicate.

As any good salesperson will attempt to do, she took my reply and tried to use it against me by engaging my athiesm. She asked if I'd always been one and I replied that I had studied philosophy and theology in college and had concluded for myself that they were all pretty much dookie. More so, the people running religious groups seem to turn out to be kid-touching S&M monkey jabbing freakoids.

I let her go without attempting to harm her beliefs because I've no right to inflict my belief system on you and I'm likely to give you one free pass on you selling me before I respond with an assault on how you convince yourself to believe in an unbelievable world view out of sentiment and not from a position of rational consideration.

Instead, I gave her back her pamphlet and went back to my Unreal Tournament deathmatch while my wife and baby boy slept peacefully in the living room.