The Facts of Life with a Pregnant Wife
We're only about nine weeks into this new experiment called parenthood and I've already learned so much. Toss in the house hunt, the wedding just passed last month and I'm just a veritable fountain of wedded knowledge. Now, granted that most of it is useless to anyone else, I'll just try to stay on the practical stuff as much as possible.

First off, this is nine months (not ten as many people seem to want to say, the ten month pregnancy thing is based on a 28 day month, i.e. the menstrual monthly cycle, and, as such, is utterly useless for people like me since, surprise surprise, I'm a man), this in nine months of my wife being mostly in charge. Her needs come first, her body is the staging zone for our new combined lifeform to find purchase and grow so her body is more important than mine right now.

Second, her body has turned into a high volume methane factory. If someone were smoking near her (not bloody likely before she was pregnant and ever more improbable now that she is) then I wouldn't be surprised if she could blow up a city block. No, its not that bad but damn, it is impressive from a perennial teenage boy point of view.

Did someone say moody? She's not moody, she's just an alternating current of happy, unhappy, nausea, crankiness and tired, tired, tired. Think you know which mood she's in right now? WRONG. And be careful, she's tender in lots of places. And that nausea? It can return in a flash.

Would I trade this time for anything? No, I wouldn't because my over riding thought is for her, trying to make this as comfortable and easy a process for her as possible. I know we're in the early stages of it and I know that the road we're on gets steeper and more difficult as we progress. But I also know that, at the end, we'll be a real family unit, bound together through the creation of a new life and that absolutely thrills the heck out of me.

My post birth concerns are that it will be hard to "reprogram" P to doing things on her own again and not expecting me to take care of everything as much as I have been. We'll have a whole new focus of our lives and the baby becomes the one in charge. So, basically, I'm no longer the captain of the good ship Johnny Huh? I'm just a passenger on the journey and that's fine by me, for now.

[Update: By the way, I should note that I will undoubtedly get some smackdown from my lovely wife for having the nerve to discuss her gas online. Oh the dangers I run by sharing these ethereal tidbits from my life!]