Noise in the Hood
or Noids in the Hood if you prefer but yes, the title is a take off of the excellent Ice Cube movie from the 80's Boys in the Hood which also starred Cuba Gooding Jr. among others.

But this isn't about break through roles or cheesy pants like the one's Cuba wears throughout the movie.

Nope, this is about living in the noisiest neighborhood ever.
Let's just take a walk through the week's mornings to see what each day will bring to wake P and me up in the morning.
Monday - trash, can roll through anytime between 5:30 and 8:30 in the morning. This is a big truck that rumbles, screeches, rattles, bangs and is otherwise damned near impossible to sleep through with windows opened or closed.
Tuesday - recycling trash truck, because why do on one day what you can spread out to two days? Same sort of truck but with the added cacophony of glasses smashing into it every twenty or thirty seconds. And it seems to have more squeally brakes too, kind of a wheezy exhale but with 16,000 pounds of truck on top of it. Hours are about the same as the trash truck.
Wednesday - ah, street sweeper day. A huge truck that goes at a super slow crawl down the street. It likes to use our intersection as a u-turn spot so we'll hear it go back and forth five or six times some mornings. Think mobile car wash with industrial sized sweepers gathering up the week's dust.
Thursday - toss up day, its either construction deliveries in the middle of the night, literally at 3:30 in the morning they'll be unloading another piece of equipment for the school across the street that's getting work done on its back side (hey, that's where we live, oh boy!) or the landscape crew will show up to trim and clean up (read that, blow all the debris outside the fence under the fence and into our back patio area so we can clean it up for them, again, oh boy!)
Friday - another toss up day but its rare that there's not something, from a rerouted semi to the bucket loader driving around the neighborhood to the neighbor's boyfriend in his huge flat bed diesel truck (though I've never seen anything on the flat bed so I'm not really quite sure why he has to have it and to be honest, he's very conscientious about shutting it down quickly when he pulls up).
Saturday - actually is normally pretty quiet unless the wanker down the street with his stupidly over loud Harley feels like rattling windows as he enjoys a little mental masturbation on his noise maker bike that costs three times as much as my SV and can get from 0-60 almost as fast as a Hyundai. The asshole was hitting the neighborhood last night at about 9:30 and intentionally revving his engine as loud as it would go, he should be shot really even though I bet he thinks people are impressed by the noise. I'm not impressed by his ability to make noise, I'm saddened by a fellow biker succumbing to the flash over substance. Bikes are supposed to be fast, agile and fun, his bike is a two wheel sled with wheels and an unrestricted exhaust that's just plain rude. And anyway, I've been up at 6:45 every day for the last week so there's almost no chance of sleeping in on the weekends anyway.
Sunday - pretty much the same as Saturday but sometimes it'll be quiet enough to sleep in until the utterly undecadent hour or 9 or so.

Can anyone out there tell that I'm already counting the days until we can move to someplace that's not half as noisy? Which sucks because I like the place we live in, like the layout and our neighbors though I wish we had some grass somewhere and space so that we could get a dog or two. But its a nice spot, shame its an alternate route for commuters to get to work and that its so close to the road that I can actually listen to people's conversations as they drive by.