The Pornificator Goes Car Shopping

As the Pornificator's Ford Fiesta has finally given up its wheezing, smoky ghost, it was time to do a little car shopping. Car salesmen are, if you haven't seen any lately, as nervous as crackheads with no more rock in their baggies. They are even more shifty eyed than usual, their white belts over their white pants are cinched extra tight to compensate for how lean their sales have been. Its a bad time to be selling cars but a good time to be buying them since you can demand great prices, great interest rates and a whole host of add-ons or you'll go to the next dealership down the street.

Anyway, the Pornificator had some fun re-imagining cars as porn names. Here are some of the more fun ones he came up with. Yes, some might stretch the imagination but hey, its all fun and games anyway, right?

Let me know you're favorite in the comments, if you please. Or, if you've got some of your own, leave them in the comments too. And yes, my mother is proud of me.

Toyota Camry - I Oughta Cram Me
Ford Escape - Four De Rape
Cadillac Escalade - Scatalac Mess We Made
Hummer H2 - Humper For 2
Chevy Tahoe - Shovy In Da Hole
Honda Accord - Whore Da Ass Card
Chrysler Lebaron - Crappler Le Bare Bone
Jeep Cherokee - Creepy Pair on Me
Volkswagen Jetta - Pokes We Gone Wetta

The Pornificator Watches Some Kids Shows

Continuing my trend of re-imagining things as porn, today's installment goes over some kids shows if they were porn. And yes, I really am this juvenile in person.

Handy Manny becomes Handjob Mandy
My Friends Tigger and Pooh becomes My Friends Bigger and Spew
Little Einsteins becomes Little Fucksteins
Spongebob Squarepants becomes Spoogebob Spunkpants
Dora the Explorer becomes Dora the Whora
Go, Diego Go becomes Blow, Diego Blow
The Imagination Movers becomes Four Douchebags (god how I hate that show)
Barney becomes Blowme
Jojo's Circus becomes Hoho's Jerk Us
Curious George becomes Spurtious Gorge
Peep and the Great Big World becomes Penis and the Great Big Girl

I could go on and on and on but I'll stop here, for now. My favorite is Spoogebob Spunkpants, which is yours?

The Pornificator Goes to the Movies

Continuing my rather juvenile habit renaming of things with porn names here's the current top ten movies in America re-imagined as porn titles. (** Insert standard apology for being an offensive jackass here. **)

Friday the 13th - Pieday the 69th
He's Just Not That Into You - He's Just Using You
Taken - Jammed In
Coraline - Cockaline
Confessions of a Shopaholic - Confessions of a Nymphomaniac
Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Paul Splurt: Ball Slop
The Pink Panther 2 - The Pink Punter Spew
The International - The In Her Gashional
Slumdog Millionaire - Slamdog Butt in the Air
Push - Push (It In)

My favorite among the bunch? Slamdog Butt in the Air by a country mile (which is just a little more than a city mile due to the earth's curvature).