As the Pornificator's Ford Fiesta has finally given up its wheezing, smoky ghost, it was time to do a little car shopping. Car salesmen are, if you haven't seen any lately, as nervous as crackheads with no more rock in their baggies. They are even more shifty eyed than usual, their white belts over their white pants are cinched extra tight to compensate for how lean their sales have been. Its a bad time to be selling cars but a good time to be buying them since you can demand great prices, great interest rates and a whole host of add-ons or you'll go to the next dealership down the street.
Anyway, the Pornificator had some fun re-imagining cars as porn names. Here are some of the more fun ones he came up with. Yes, some might stretch the imagination but hey, its all fun and games anyway, right?
Let me know you're favorite in the comments, if you please. Or, if you've got some of your own, leave them in the comments too. And yes, my mother is proud of me.
Toyota Camry - I Oughta Cram Me
Ford Escape - Four De Rape
Cadillac Escalade - Scatalac Mess We Made
Hummer H2 - Humper For 2
Chevy Tahoe - Shovy In Da Hole
Honda Accord - Whore Da Ass Card
Chrysler Lebaron - Crappler Le Bare Bone
Jeep Cherokee - Creepy Pair on Me
Volkswagen Jetta - Pokes We Gone Wetta
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
6.04.2009
2.14.2008
Car Repair Joy
We've known that our Ford Escape needed some attention to the wheel bearings on the front end of the car. We'd been putting it off since there's almost no money to pay for the repair. But it had gotten so bad that we had no choice but to take it in. At the same time, the Jetta has been begging for some new tires for months now and the begging had become a scream.
So we bit the bullet and got both jobs done for around $500 only to find out that two more jobs have now cropped up. The first is the other wheel bearing on the right side of the car since it is just as likely beat up and failing as the one that had already ground itself out. So there's another $250 or so. And, more importantly and scarily, the master brake cylinder on the Escape had developed a slow seeping leak. Not very much but overtime it had drained almost the entire reservoir which would have been both very dangerous and potentially very expensive had it gotten down to sucking air. And that'll be another $250 or so.
But the upside is that our vehicles should be set for a little while. Unless my motorcycle decides it needs some loving which wouldn't surprise me as it hasn't gotten any attention in a few weeks now. The cold and the rain really take all the fun out of wheeling around on my speed machine. But with the weather turning so much nicer, I'm leaning towards riding it up to my gigs in Aptos. Its been interesting getting used to having to deal with morning commute traffic again.
So we bit the bullet and got both jobs done for around $500 only to find out that two more jobs have now cropped up. The first is the other wheel bearing on the right side of the car since it is just as likely beat up and failing as the one that had already ground itself out. So there's another $250 or so. And, more importantly and scarily, the master brake cylinder on the Escape had developed a slow seeping leak. Not very much but overtime it had drained almost the entire reservoir which would have been both very dangerous and potentially very expensive had it gotten down to sucking air. And that'll be another $250 or so.
But the upside is that our vehicles should be set for a little while. Unless my motorcycle decides it needs some loving which wouldn't surprise me as it hasn't gotten any attention in a few weeks now. The cold and the rain really take all the fun out of wheeling around on my speed machine. But with the weather turning so much nicer, I'm leaning towards riding it up to my gigs in Aptos. Its been interesting getting used to having to deal with morning commute traffic again.
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