What's that? Your 11000 pound Hummer or 8600 pound H2 Hummer have you feeling like you've got the shriveled ball sack of an octogenarian? Then get out your credit line and your children's credit line because you sir need to buy the CXT, the Commercial Extreme Truck!
Oh yeah, fuck those little pussy Hummers, they suck! The CXT is more than TWICE the size of the Hummer and almost THREE times the size of the H2 at an un-fucking-believable 25,999 pounds (just one shy of the limit to require a professional truck driver's license, that's right kids, just turned 16 and got your license? then you can drive one too!).
You want to see it? You want to feast your eyes on the red neck's ultimate wet dream truck? New Navistar pickup towers over offerings from Hummer, Ford - Sep. 13, 2004
Of course, my own usual and preferred mode of transport has been prone to some bouts of excess as well, like the Dodge Tomahawk. Its cool looking and can probably pull off the line like nothing else in existence but it would scare the holy shit out of me to go splitting lanes during the commute on that monster. Or Big Toe, the monster motorcycle.
There are other cool ways to go to excess that seems pretty stupid, like the Paintball Minigun offered on eBay. Or jokes like the Ford Exorbitant and then there are truism's disguised as ads like Not Our Fault.
My Country tis of thee,
Sweet land of excessivity,
Of thee I sing.
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