Sex and Other Euphemisms

More juvenility! Herein are some of the euphemisms I've grown up with or invented myself. If they are attributable to a coiner than that person or other is in parentheses.

Masturbation (male):
Rubbing one out
Choking the trouser snake
Going fishing for trouser trout
Beating the one-eyed gopher
Milking the monkey

Masturbation (female):
Flipping the switch
Sinking the man in the boat

Sex:
Washing her dishes
Shining her shoes
The horizontal mambo
Trouser snake boogie
The bang tango

Going to the bathroom:
Dropping a tail
Dropping the kids off at the pool (Jessica Simpson)
Making bricks
Laying the foundation (an offshoot from the previous one and the classic song "Brickhouse")
Making brownies (South Park)

I'm sure I am forgetting some old favorites and may add them later. What are your favorite euphemisms? If they are worthy, I'll add them to the post with an attribution.

Why Is Sex Such a Taboo?

Vietnam is having Paris Hilton moment which is actually not true at all since the star of the sex video in this case was already a celebrity. And, instead of launching a career, it has ended hers. And Hoang Thuy Linh is actually very pretty and not the result of years of plastic surgery and millions of dollars in carefully planned publicity.

But still, why is there this awful taboo against sex? Every single person on the planet has it or wants it, what is the big friggin' deal (pun intended)?

How warped is our value system that violence is broadcast on every news channel all day every day but sex is hidden away and treated like the dirtiest thing ever?

Orgasm 2.0

So Who Wants to F*** A Robot reports on the news in the wired sex universe. Which, according to the article, includes geeks with dildos attached to Versasaws and automatic tongues on robots.

Click through at your own risk as the pictures and text are not work safe.

But I can definitely say that the red haired geek in the second pic is not invited to the party, can you say Creepy? I thought you could.

Banging Patients and Getting Away With It

Crimes Reported To State Not Forwarded For Prosecution

A psychiatrist who has admitted to having sex with female patients will never be prosecuted for his crime.When Dr. Kim Nagel surrendered his medical license in 2004, he admitted to having sex with at least two of his female patients, 7NEWS reported.

Yet since neither the medical board nor the attorney general's office reported Nagel's apparent criminal behavior to the local district attorney, it is now too late for prosecution.

Which is, of course, ridiculously insane. He's admitted to his crimes but, because someone in the AG's office and another in the medical board office was too lazy or incompetent to file the charges, he gets off (yes, pun intended) scot free.

The deeply wrong nature of this situation irks me in ways that make it hard to sit up straight (no, that might not make sense).

Whoever was negligent in filing the charges should be held accountable for their inaction. How many other criminals got a Get-Out-of-Trouble-Free card from the office? Any murderers? Rapists? Child molesters?

This is a serious breach of the process of law and an affront to justice.

Dr. Kim Nagel is free to reapply for a license to practice medicine anywhere in this country and that is grotesquely wrong. People in positions of authority who abuse that authority should most definitely be tried and punished for abusing that authority. Anything else condones thier activity and sends the wrong message to victims and potential perpetrators of similar crimes.