I Am Not Crazy or Stupid

A sign of intelligence is an awareness of one's own ignorance. -- Unknown

Here's the thing, if someone gives you some information and asks you to read it and consider it because it might give you a better understanding of the person you are dealing with. Do you read it? Do you take the time to try and understand your partner better or do you dismiss it and return to your standard stance of "It's not me, it's you"?

Because I would tend to lean towards actually wanting to learn how to make things better.

But that's the difference between intellect and ignorance. The intelligent person is keenly aware of how little they really do know whereas the ignorant person holds on to those beliefs like a life preserver without regard to new and contradictory information. The ignorant person has no choice but to stubbornly cling to what "knowledge" they have despite it being incomplete or outright wrong.

There's more to this, of course, there always is. There's a confirmation bias across all strata of intellect, that is, we all tend to think we are smarter than we really are but, as the level of intelligence rises, the margin of thinking we are smarter than we are comes down. Another way, the dumber a person is the more likely they are to overestimate their intelligence. The smarter a person is, the more likely they will be to be able to recognize that they don't know something.

Here's some more reading on the subject if you are so inclined (which is actually a sign that you're on the upper end of the spectrum because intellectual curiosity requires, you know, intellect). Incompetent People Too Ignorant to Know It.

Insert Witticisms and Snark Here

I've got a ton of things going on these days, I'm either out working every night or out at presentations. I put in a 12 hour plus day of work yesterday and won't be home tonight until probably 9 again. Needless to say, I'm starting to get worn out and, on occasion, cranky.

But I know that my clock is running out and that soon I'll be among the unemployed or underemployed since one of my school sites is able to hire me outside of the school district and union rules. It won't be anywhere near enough but it will help to have some consistent income.

Our current reality isn't especially rosy and its hard to think about what is going to happen if things don't start clicking in the right way for us. I'm trying to use the pending reality as motivation to get our network marketing business up and rolling. It all sometimes feels a little overwhelming and sometimes I just feel like crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over my head even knowing that doing so won't keep the boogeyman from coming and demanding payment for bills.

Sometimes, well, alot of times, being an adult and parent really sucks major ass. And its much worse when the economy has tanked and the job market is flooded with other people in the same boat.

Perception vs. Reality

Perception - the cold sore on my lip is big enough to be seen from space.
Reality - most people don't notice it unless I point it out to them. But it still hurts like someone put a cigarette out on my lip.

Perception - My family is the only one struggling to get by.
Reality - Millions of families across the nation are in the same or worse shape than we are.

Perception - Prop 8 passed because the will of the people decreed same-sex marriage threatens "traditional" marriage.
Reality - The Yes on 8 campaign used just about every dirty trick in the book to get it passed, including robocalls featuring Barack Obama's quote about not believing in same-sex marriage but excluding his very next line that he did not support Prop 8. Those robocalls went to every single black voter in California.

Got any Perception vs. Reality you'd like to dispel? Leave a comment.

Trouble in Paradise: The Radio Edit

Rather than expose all of my disgusting and streaky dirty laundry I will take the (somewhat) higher road, as I can.

The top level point is that appearances can be deceptive. What can appear to be a happy house can, in fact, be a depressing hellhole of resentment, anger, violence and lots and lots of shouting.

Which pretty well sucks but there it is.

I could explain, I could dissect, I could dig into it and expose the problems here on this blog but it wouldn't solve anything and would almost certainly result in ever greater aggravation which I have a rather vested interest in trying to cut down on. My reality is nothing like you would expect it to be. No wait, that's not entirely true, there are aspects of my days that are exactly like you'd expect.

I have deeply joyful times playing with my two boys. They are a never ending source of fun, energy, laughter and entertainment. They really are fantastic little guys.

My dog is a teeter-totter of fun and aggravation. She can be loads of fun to play with in the backyard or out biking on the trails but she can also be an extreme annoyance when she won't stop whining or barking or both. To the point where I come close to becoming unglued. It isn't pretty nor do I have anything but shame about not being able to maintain my composure.

And then there's my wife. I was once told that, in the absence of anything good to say, don't say anything at all. I'll just say that we're struggling to get on the same page these days and leave it at that.

I wish I could be a happier camper on this Monday morning but I'm just not there yet.

Selectable Reality

Its easy to allow the jerk on his phone is his Ford Expedition who just cut you off without even seeing you to screw up and ruin an entire day. Its easy to let a momentary assholery take over your reality and make the world darker and uglier.

But easy isn't always better (just don't tell that to water) and it isn't always equitable or acceptable.

Why let your day be hijacked by an instant of bad when the day can be changed to something better, more productive and sunnier?

I deal with a myriad of events that seem almost designed to thwart my having a reasonably good day, from a dog that barks at people only she can see, a toddler who thinks the height of funny is to stand at the television and keep turning it off, a bigger boy who has the most extraordinarily selective hearing ever and a wife who, well, let's just say she's occasionally part of the problem. But do I let it get me down?

I come from a pretty pragmatic world view. What is the downstream effect of me leaving the milk out on the counter? What's the downstream effect of me driving like a jerk to get to work right on time? What's the downstream effect of me not putting the toilet seat down?

Pragmatism is living an examined life, knowing what you are doing, knowing how your actions will impact others and actually giving a damn about how those actions will impact others.

If you're having a bad day and don't want to be having a bad day then make a conscious decision to change your attitude and you'll be amazed at how much better the world looks when you just change the lens you are using to view it.