Ryan wrote about this awful ad campaign a while ago and they've since rolled out a bunch of new and ever more irritating and truly horrific commercials featuring Mr. Typecast Boner Freak with the Joker Death-Face Smile stapled to his face.
Add in a grating and stupid whistle soundtrack and then double it because they always seem to show them back to back and I change the channel in a heartbeat. I don't give the first damn about Bob's new bigger, fuller and longer boner. I don't care that he can hit a golf ball better. I don't care that Bob's learning about wood. I care that the assholes who are the marketing team at Enzyte need to be taken into a field and shot.
And the stupid thing, because I'm writing about it here and now and because Ryan wrote about it before, those inbred bonerific morons think that this is a victory. Its not, its defeat of the worst kind. Any potential market you might have had with me has been flushed down the toilet (and yeah, who wouldn't mind bigger, fuller and longer, eh?).
Now, they need to die. Smilin' Bob needs to die painfully, maybe by mistaking Crazy Glue for KY, maybe by getting so horny he sticks his pecker in an electrical socket, maybe by taking a ball peen hammer to his ghoulish grinning mug, it doesn't matter, he's got to die. And I hope he takes the entire marketing team with him. Maybe a field trip that gets horribly out of control and their charter bus plunges over a fifty thousand foot cliff.
I don't care but Enzyte Guy MUST. DIE!
Or, I've gotta get a Tivo so I can fast forward through their atrocious commercials. Damn, I've just gotta get a Tivo regardless and some gold ended connector cables to allow the new HD TV to shine even better.
No, must remain focused. Enzyte Guy must DIE! Or find another line of work.
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