It occurs to me that I haven't ranted about idiots in the public eye, the ones that need a good hard fist right in the face and maybe a kick in the nuts as well. The list is, by no means, complete or fair but hey, ya know, fuck it.
Hugh Grant - I cannot think of any celebrity that needs a good stomping more than this incredibly irritating knob.
Ray Romano - do I really even need to give any reason why he needs to get kicked until he stops twitching?
Ben Stiller - Mr. One Character, a useless wanker who just keeps pumping out garbage movies one after the other like skittles. Yeah, he gets the steel toe to the jewelbox.
Richard Hatch - for proving that nudity can be an awful thing.
David Schwimmer - for proving that pussies can walk on two legs and whine.
Matthew Perry - facial ticks be damned, the guy's almost as big a pussy as Schwimmer but he's got a drug problem so he gets some slack.
Scott Peterson - the smug guy look of a guy who very likely murdered his wife and unborn son has been indelibly burned into my head, that's reason enough to kick his sick ass.
Kobe Bryant - Dude, you raped a teenager, committed adultery and then paid off your wife with a $3.5 million dollar ring and then have the pure balls to say you're not guilty? Not even your defense team can keep a straight face when you say crap like that.
George Steinbrenner - thanks for trying to ruin baseball by signing $190 million dollars of all stars.
Jayson Blair - Hi, I'm a liar posing as a journalist but soon I'll be a liar and fraud posing as an author. And I'm probably lying right now. Jayson Blair needs a blanket party by some 'roided up baseball sluggers.
John Rigas, Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Sam Waksal and all the other corrupt CEO pricks - here's a good site for news on CEO scandals and their penalties, The Corporate Scandal Sheet with political donation numbers included too just to see how much and who they gave it too.
The Entire ShrubCo Regime needs a slap, a kick and maybe even a little testicular cattle prodding, though maybe we should just stop at the slap for Condi Rice (is it me or is there a tinge of shame in her face when she's in the news lately?).
I'd include the Pope and most of the Church but the Pope would probably split in two and I don't need an old man's blood on my boot. How about some nut kicks for all those kid touching priests and their superiors who conspired to cover it all up? Oh yeah, I can get my kickin' foot going for that. By the way, I find it incredibly ironic that the priest who was putting up Cary Verse (a recently released sexual predator) in his illegal parish flop house has just been arrested for molestation. Ironic in the sense that he needs to spend a few years in prison, scared for his own backside to get a little taste of the fear and pain he inflicted on someone else.
I do reserve the right to continue to add to this list and might even make it a stand alone page with its own special little IP: Slappage button. Who would you slap if you could?
Hodge Podge
A few random links that I've been keeping in draft and bumping up to the top of the post list below. Its time to clear them out and move on to the next collection
If you have any interest in South African Cricket then you should check out the South African SuperSportszone. The site's a little hard to navigate and its hard to find actual scorecards of the matches but its a good spot for some news about one of my favorite sports.
Satisfying your inner adolescent D&D playing pre-internet geek, What D&D Character Are You?
Random news: Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it
Random timewaster (remember Mr. Miyagi trying to catch flies with chopsticks in the Karate Kid? this is the online version), flysui.
And I've begun another new blog, this time over on ModBlog called One Hand Slapping that deals with people in the media who could seriously benefit from a little "gentlemen's correction", not unlike the first part of this post actually. I'm more testing it out and think its one hell of a cool system, well thought out, well planned out and far, far superior to what Blogger is offering.
And a couple of new words I thought up yesterday afternoon
Peter tottering - those last few seconds of a top spinning when its getting ready to fall over and stop spinning, its petering our and teeter tottering at the same time.
Pooetic justice - that joyous confluence of payback and poop, when someone's come uppance involves their having poo flung at them or otherwise being used as an intrinsic part of the revenge. This was is for Ryan in his new digs and showing off his butt, I think there might be some pooetic justice coming your way, Ryan.
And a new drink:
We came up with this one a while ago but I finally came up with the name for it.
Its called Ginger's Bush
a shot of Bushmills over ice
top with ginger ale
garnish with a sprig of mint and some soft core porn.
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