Ending Spring Break Right

Most of Spring Break was pretty low key, playing with my kids, trying to give my wife some time to get on top of her paperwork, the monster of a desk she's been trying to cope with, working on her shop, yardwork and emergency fence repairs.

Not a bad break by any stretch.

But not too much to write home about and rave either. Until the last few days of the week and the weekend in which much goodness, fun and too much sun was all packed in.

First off, I got two good mountain bike rides in, one less than I'd targeted but I can call the demo ride of the Delta 7 Arantix at the Sea Otter Classic a half a ride so I'm even that much closer to my goal. But I did get two good rides in, one with Nande which makes for a more fun outing, usually.

My second ride was on Thursday and wasn't quite as far as normal but I didn't want to over-tax Nande on her first run/ride in a while so we took it easy. She did alright overall but was definitely riding the lag wagon towards the end.

On Friday, I headed south to Laguna Seca and the Sea Otter Classic bicycle festival. Aside from the long slow slog in, it was a great time. The weather was magnificent, there were some great races to enjoy, the dual slalom was particularly cool as well as the BMX trick riders. I did do a full write up of the event on NorCal Bikers, I think the link is in the post right below this one.

On Saturday, we hit the beach so that the boys could play with their cousins. The four kids had a ball running into and out of the surf, throwing sand at the water, making designs in the sand and generally running around like wild little boys. We also got to see a rather large fish wash up on the sand, still alive, flap around for a bit and then get carried back out into the bay. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of fish it was. It was about four feet long, had pretty big teeth and a bunch of spines on its dorsal fin. It also was extremely iridescent in the sun and flashed bright blues, greens and maybe some purple.

Sadly though, no pictures as I'd just put my camera back in my bag when it rolled up on the shore. And, because the four kids were getting really close, I couldn't just run over and grab it. Especially not after seeing how nasty big those teeth were!

On Saturday night, a buddy of mine and I went out to Salinas to watch UFC 97. Overall there were some pretty good fights but Anderson Silva's title defense fight was about as thrilling as watching paint dry. Which sucks because he was trying to draw Thales Leites into a fight but Leites seemed content to flop on his back about fifty times. The fights also pretty well ended Chuck Liddell's career with another TKO stoppage. That was a bit of a bummer. Overall, I went 5 for 8 on my predictions and should not have gone with the sentimental prediction on Liddell or I'd have gone 6 for 8. Not a bad night of fights but it could have and should have been way better. Silva may be winning but he's losing his marketing draw with each successive boring crappy fight. They need to put someone in the ring who will bang with him.

And that brings us to yesterday. The early part of the day was spent at the house, doing yardwork, fixing a slowly disintegrating fence and trying to steal a little rest while avoiding the sun because it was hot, hot, hot here, must have been in the mid-90s. But the afternoon was spent at a birthday party. Lots of kids, a little wading pool, a sprinkler and some damned fine Hoegaarden White Beer on tap. It was alot of fun but very tiring.

After we got home, got the kids bathed and into bed where they put up only the most minimal resistance to going to sleep, we watched Thursday's episode of Survivor. And saw the most annoying character since Johnny Fairplay keep stroking his scraggly beard and massive ego. This season is turning out to be a pretty meager and bordering on annoying enough to stop watching one. The Coach guy is a complete tool, liar and jackass. If he'd been voted out then I'd have been happy but nope, we'll be subjected to more weeks of his incredibly grating personality. You're losing me, Survivor, you are losing me.

And that brings us up to current. This week will be a busy one, with meetings on Wednesday and Thursday, after school work on Tuesday and lots of little computer fires cropping up from the break.

My legs are worked, I might have pink-eye and a spot or two of poison oak but I look pretty darned tan and healthy even if my allergies are starting to lose the battle against the post nasal drip.

It was a very, very good end to the week off. Now we'll see what kind of looniness develops as California just got another $3.1 or $4 billion for education. I hope that money goes to its intended use and not to another of Schwarzenegger's projects because that money could mean I have a job in the fall.

Survivor Wrap

I just got finished watching the latest episode of Survivor Gabon and have finally felt like writing something about this season. The season is a little more than half over now with the tenth person voted out tonight from an original 18. I love the location but much of this season has been pretty unsatisfying.

Here are my thoughts on the remaining players.

Randy - a racist asshole. I keep hoping he'll twist his knee and have to leave the game because of a medical problem. The guy has two assholes, one he shits from and other he spews verbal shit from. Really, an ugly person through and through.

Corinne - a conniving and hateful bitch. She holds herself in really high esteem and then utterly slags other people, calling them stupid morons and other crap. She's a pretty disgusting human being.

Crystal - for being an Olympian, she's been all but worthless in the physical challenges and she's got that hard not to laugh at angry bobblehead thing going. She comes off as angry, angry, angry too much of the time and is, well, kind of annoying.

Kenny - he's the gamer and he's playing the game. He's been lying an awful lot more recently and, I think, is losing stock among the other players. But I kind of like him because he's a physical underdog.

Matty - a decent and nice guy who got the short end of the stick through most of the game. I like him and would have no problem with him winning the whole thing.

Susie - I don't have much of an opinion about her aside from the fact I don't think she can or will win. She did, however, change the course of the game by jumping sides.

Sugar - one of the most underestimated players in the game. She's been a swing vote many times, she's been the deciding vote several times and she's got the immunity idol to fall back on if she ever feels threatened. She's got a great chance to get to the finals.

Bob - the elder statesmen of the game. Aside from looking partially deranged from not bathing or shaving, he is one of the most genuinely nice and cool guys to ever play the game.

The last four tribal councils have all seen strong male players booted from the game and the last two were blindsides of the pretty doctor man and then his adoring lawyer monkey. They're the first two members of the jury and Charley, the lawyer, has his saving grace that he gets to spend the rest of the game in the doctor's golden glow. The way he fawned over him throughout the game was irritating.

At this point in the game, there are several people I wouldn't mind seeing win and several that I would be aggravated about. The okay to wins are: Matty, Sugar, Kenny and Bob though I don't think Bob has a chance. The no way in hell do I want them to wins are: Randy and Corrine. I hate it when assholes triumph but it can happen in Survivor.

Oh Well, File It Under Better To Have Tried and Failed

Than to never have tried at all.

It is September and I never did hear back from the Survivor producers for a second interview which was supposed to take place in August. The only conclusion I can draw is that I was not selected for further inquisition for season 19 of the reality show.

Which is, of course, their loss as I would totally kick all the ass out of Survivor if they put me on the show. I mean that too.

You hearing me, Probst and Burnett? You missed the boat. But its not too late, if you call me up (you've got my numbers) and are nice to me, I'll come and play in your sandbox and make it rock!

I'm mildly bummed about not even making it to the second round but its a learning process and I'm filing this one away for future reference. I'll tryout again when it comes back around.

The First Step on the Road to Survivor Glory

I drove out to Salinas this afternoon because KION was holding open casting for the next season of Survivor. It took a long time to fill out the application and I probably got a little too irreverent in it but I hope the reviewers see it as funny and not annoying.

The process was kind of cool but I wish it weren't quite so hot, over 90 in the sun, and that I hadn't been dumb enough to wear a long sleeve shirt with shorts (I figured I might be there until it got darkish and cooled off).

There were already thirty or forty people waiting before I got parked and in line. Actually there was no line by that point. I just checked in, the very cute girl checked my paperwork, stapled it all together and gave me a number, 44. That was it. Then I got to sit, listen to music on my phone, read my Popular Science and read the first thirty pages or so of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

I did, of course, size up my competition and saw a couple of folks that might make for interesting contestants but none that were as undeniably awesome as I was/am. There was the short older guy who wanted to be the clown, he even rode a unicycle and juggled with plungers stuck to his bald head. I didn't find him very entertaining and felt he was trying way to hard.

Then there was Xena the Warrior Princess' sister and a couple of guys who looked like there were on day 15 already (beat up clothes, hat and scruff).

All in all, I'd say I did well for not really knowing what to expect. I got called in with the others near my number. The last group is just winding up so you get to sit and watch for a minute. When my number was called, I took my application up, got mic'ed up and stepped up on to the stage with the camera and the really bright sober light in my eyes. I was tempted to put my sunglasses on but its much harder to tell when someone's being earnest when they're eyes are obscured.

Anyway, I had two minutes to sell myself. I started out with the requisite reason for why I wanted to be on the show, I've been a fan since the first season and wanted to see how well I could do. I talked about my little family and setting a positive role model example for my boys to look up to.

Before I knew it, the guy was flashing the sign for 30 seconds left and I wrapped up with a bit about what I like to do for sports and that I'd be a great contestant because I'm smart and physically capable of handling and excelling at the challenges and surviving.

Now I get to wait a few weeks while someone somewhere reviews all the submissions. I think it would be a total hoot to get on the show and, once I was there, there's no telling just how far I really could go since I really do think I've got a great set of skills to take into one of these games. Plus, I'd be able to show everyone that the flint is buried in magnesium and you can just about start a fire in a monsoon if you get a pile of magnesium shavings before you start sparking the flint. I can't believe no one's done that thus far, drives me crazy. Or I'll make a fire bow and start a fire by friction. That would be fun, start a fire like four different ways.

No idea where the show would be taped, maybe Gabon on the west coast of Africa under the "nose" but I might be conjuring that up. Either way, a fun experience and I hope it leads to something more fun!

PS And no, no Jeff Probst roaming around giving wry encouragement.

Survivor: Micronesia Fans vs. Favorites

** Warning: Spoiler Alert, do not read if you do not want to know what happened. **

The new season of Survivor kicked off the other night with a group of super fans being sent to an island in Micronesia to stand in the rain and await their competition. They didn't know their competition was going to be some Survivor favorites and one total asshole who's nobody's favorite but we'll get to him later.

The fans seemed almost hand picked to match up against the favorites to make for an interesting season.

The one major sticking point for me going into this season was the inclusion of Jonny Fairplay as a "favorite". For one, he's nobody's favorite. For two, he was terrible at the game. For three, anytime I hear his name or see his greasy mug I just want to start punching him until his mug is gone.

I wanted him off the show as soon as absolutely possible. And I got my wish as he was the first to be voted off. Since he's got a baby on the way I won't wish him harm or anything but I certainly don't wish him well. Scumbags don't need any help and he's a supersized scumbag sleazeball jackass.

As for the other favorites, I was pleased to see James come back and Ozzy and Yau Man (to a lessor degree though) some of the others. My wife remarked that all of the fans had something funky about them, like 70's glam hair or midwestern pinched faces or something along those lines. I had to agree but I'm more interested in how well they handle the favorites, some of which are the fans' favorites themselves.

I think this'll be an interesting season and it'll be watchable without Jonny Fairplay because I probably would have boycotted if he'd hung around for more than a couple of episodes.

Short Survivor Wrap

As with most Survivor finales, I wasn't overly excited about this one. The three finalists were an interesting mix but none of them, in my estimation, really deserved to win the game this time around.

Courtney, the ultra-skinny waitress moppet from New York had coasted through the game despite being physically overmatched at every turn.

Amanda had just gotten irritating with her sad puppy dog look. I figured she had the best chance at the win because her alliance partner, Todd, was a back stabbing liar.

Todd was a back stabbing liar who orchestrated votes and played a strategy game from Day One. Of the three, he was the most deserving but he's also the most weasely of the bunch and I found myself just not liking him at all. That and the hair was just annoying.

Overall, this season turned out alright but they never turn out the way I expect them to. I would have rather seen James or Frosti win the game because they were both great competitors and, seemingly, pretty decent people.

But its another season in the books, more all-stars to cull for future special shows, another crop of reality stars to seed through the rest of the reality landscape, more so during this, apparently, never ending writer's strike.

As an aside, I always hate how sharp the change is from when the votes are cast to when the votes are read. Two weeks passes and the castaways get their weight back, get cleaned up, shaved, their hair done and more and, sometimes, don't even resemble the characters they'd been just a moment (in tv time) before. Courtney in particular went from grungy jungle babe (albeit way to skinny) to a club kid.

Finally, A Good Week in Reality TV Land

The last of the preliminary bouts on The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) took place and Tommy "Farmboy" Speer pretty well pounded the crap out of Warmachine. Warmachine landed an early blow between Tommy's eyes that made him bleed alot and nearly choked him out early in the first but that was all he was able to do. Tommy dominated him and really pounded him good. Hard enough to make Warmachine not be able to get back to his corner under his own power and then he fell off his stool.

A good, if bloody, fight.

And Jean-Robert, the fat, greasy slimeball poker player on Survivor finally got rejected by the rest of the survivors and booted. The guy is my second least favorite player of all time, behind the most annoying reality wanker of all time who won't even be named here because it probably gives him a stiffy to know how much people still hate him. But he's the scraggly dink that Danny Bonaduce tossed off of him and sent him in for a whole bunch of facial surgery after he used his face as a landing pad a few weeks or a month ago.

I still dislike Matt Serra on TUF but his day of reckoning is coming and it'll be hard for him to talk while he's getting his ass kicked.

Now all I need is for my lip to heal up and I'll be a much happier camper again.

We Are in Reality Heaven!

The new season of The Ultimate Fighter (Matt "Teh Dominator" Hughes vs. Matt "Da Pretenda" Serra) starts tonight and the new season of Survivor: China starts tomorrow night.

Woot!

Survivor Wrap

This'll be quick as we had an unscheduled very awake baby at 3 this morning and he didn't go back down until nearly 4. Tired? I sure am!

Anyway, last night's premiere was good. I like the twist of having them all work together to build a kickass shelter and camp and then throwing half of them out.

My early likes include: Yauman and Rocky.
Early dislikes include: Dreamz.

And, because in this day and age, even Fijian islanders will have blogs. Check out some insider info about the shoot, the Survivor Boomtown effect (warning, looooong entry). Here are some maps someone put together and then some Google hi-res satellite images to enjoy as well. I like having some maps to refer to although it looks like the Ravu tribe has a really, really long way to travel to get to tribal council which makes us wonder how they can safely navigate home afterwards, in the dark, on the ocean. Seems kind of incredibly dangerous to us.

Tags: survivor, Fiji, reality tv, premiere

Survivor Fiji Starts Tonight!

From what the reviewers have written, there won't be a huge number of people watching the premiere of Survivor: Fiji on CBS tomorrow evening.

But I will be and my wife will be. We like the show, we like the false "reality" of it, we like the challenges, we like the game. Last season was very entertaining and I hope this new mix of castaways will prove as entertaining too.