First Monday Off the Clock

It is, as I start this, 8:00 am on the dot. I should be at work, turning on computers, cursing the after school guy for not cleaning up the mess the kids make while he ignores them and surfs Cartoon Network's anime movies. If I'm lucky then I'd have one of my favorite students in the computer lab helping me out, requesting some Johnny Cash on iTunes so she can rock out a little bit.

But none of that is happening and only partially because school is out for the summer. For one, summer school is kicking off and, for some ridiculous reason, it starts earlier than regular school even though it has a shorter day overall. No, I do not understand who thought this would be a good idea.

I'd originally applied to work summer school and keep doing my tech support that I've been doing. But, upon some thought, it didn't make sense to do it. The pay is barely above what I will make on unemployment and I'd have to get up even earlier to work. So, after discussing it with my wife like any good, smart man should do because making monetary decisions in a vacuum is a good way of getting in big trouble, I decided to concentrate my energies this summer on our network marketing venture with Kyani.

To that end, we are going to be spending the summer working on our local prospects, taking trips up to the east bay and possibly beyond with the end goal of building out our business to the point where we are earning the same (though, honestly, we'll need to earn more to compensate for my lost benefits) as from my full-time work in the school district.

I've been laid off before but never with such a great opportunity to generate our own future and I'm not really going to miss having to get up before 7 to get to work on time. Though I will miss the teachers and the kids quite a bit.

T-Minus 10 Days

In ten business days I will be officially unemployed again. While I have some natural angst about this sea change and all of the subsequent changes it will incur in my life, I'm also looking forward to it on several levels.

Don't get me wrong, I like my job quite alot. I like working for teachers who are grateful for the assistance. I like helping kids and I find great satisfaction in resolving computer problems. And I'll definitely miss the excellent health benefits

But I will not miss the bureaucracy, I will not miss the false protection of the union, I will not miss the ever-present layoffs, I will not miss the yearly cuts and the massive stress they create. I will not miss seeing highly qualified teachers and staff released back into the unemployment wilds while more senior staff is kept on solely because of their time served, not because of any other merits.

I also will not miss the increasingly capricious internet filter that blocks sites I would like access to but leaves kids will access to stupid garbage sites like iCarly, FPS shooter game sites (that's first person shooter), Barbie.com, Wambie and a whole host of other sites with zero educational content. Sorry but, in my mind, there's little reason for kids to be able to play video games in a school setting, they have XBoxes, PS3s and Wiis at home for that (though, in the school I'm at today, the kids are far more likely to have game consoles at home than to have computers, that makes me kind of sad).

Other things I will miss are the comradery of the staff and faculty. With a few notable exceptions, people who work in education have great hearts, attitudes and support for others. It is a very nurturing and supportive environment, unlike much of corporate America.

And I totally will not miss the jackass who does the after school program at one of my school's. He used to really bug me but now he no longer matters and I don't care that he's complete ass.

And, finally, I will miss several students especially since I've gotten to know them a little bit and like to think that I've positively effected their schooling.

Also, I'm really looking forward to going camping with my family. Grady asks to go camping nearly every day right now and it'll be fun to get away for a couple of days and enjoy 100% family time together.

Insert Witticisms and Snark Here

I've got a ton of things going on these days, I'm either out working every night or out at presentations. I put in a 12 hour plus day of work yesterday and won't be home tonight until probably 9 again. Needless to say, I'm starting to get worn out and, on occasion, cranky.

But I know that my clock is running out and that soon I'll be among the unemployed or underemployed since one of my school sites is able to hire me outside of the school district and union rules. It won't be anywhere near enough but it will help to have some consistent income.

Our current reality isn't especially rosy and its hard to think about what is going to happen if things don't start clicking in the right way for us. I'm trying to use the pending reality as motivation to get our network marketing business up and rolling. It all sometimes feels a little overwhelming and sometimes I just feel like crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over my head even knowing that doing so won't keep the boogeyman from coming and demanding payment for bills.

Sometimes, well, alot of times, being an adult and parent really sucks major ass. And its much worse when the economy has tanked and the job market is flooded with other people in the same boat.

Layoffification

Up until about ten years ago, I'd never been laid off from a job. I'd been fired sure and had quit other jobs but never been laid off. In the last ten years I've been laid off three times and am about to be laid off for the fourth time in a couple of weeks when the school year draws to a close.

With some luck and hard work, I won't ever be in a position be laid off again because of our new venture with Kyani. But this post isn't about network marketing or why I think it could be our saviour.

Nope, this post is about all of the inventive ways that layoffs are euphemized. And so, without further ado, let's get to the notices.

Retrenchment - I first heard this in South Africa many years ago. Fitting because it means being returned to the trenches to fight for another job.
Frogwalked - when the dotcom bubble burst and companies were folding overnight, I've heard about layoffs being accompanied by security guards "assisting" former employees to the door in order to keep them from stealing supplies.
Re-aligning our cost structure - seen on Twitter this morning. Execu-speak for layoffs, doesn't that sound nicer than layoff?
Streamlined - almost sounds like it could be a good thing. And I suppose it is for the executives who keep their jobs and their fat bonuses for crappy work.
Offboarded - I'm not sure about where this one comes from nor does it sound like anything good. Probably because of the pervasiveness of "water-boarding" in the media these days.
Corporate outplacing - basically, your job has been given to someone overseas who'll do it half as well for a tenth the cost. Isn't a global economy awesome?
Synergy-related headcount restructuring - I think, if someone were to say this to me, I'd shout BINGO! and ask where to pick up my winnings.
Non-essential employees - which is, basically, saying "fuck-you, you aren't good enough to stay".

Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that there are very solid reasons for laying off employees. But putting a dress on a pig doesn't make it a prom queen and making up euphemistic phrases to sugarcoat the reality of a layoff is a disservice and, essentially, rude to the people being thrown back into the job market.

Be a real leader, be straight and up front with your soon-to-be previous employees and they'll not only respect you for it, they won't go out of their way to slag you online and to other people they know.

Much Ado About a Layoff Notice

I was able to finally get to the Post Office this morning to pick up my certified letter from the school district notifying me that I am, officially, being laid off at the end of the month.

It doesn't really make me all that sad to get the official news since I've known about it for months unofficially. I suppose the finality of it might depress me a little bit but it hasn't yet.

I've got too much work to do to get myself another job to stand around regretting the loss of this one. I will miss it though. With some luck I'll be able to do some freelance work for the schools in the fall which, oddly enough, will result in me getting paid more and costing the schools substantially less because of benefits, union dues and all the other foofery that came with the position.

Speaking of which, it is just about time for me to get to working on my resume and applying for all the jobs I've saved up over the week (with a big thank you to my sister Su for her help!).

PS. Happy 6/7/8 Day!

Winding Down and Out

There are three full days of school left in the school year here in my district. And then three and a half weeks of project work on-site before I become unemployed, again.

Each of my schools is a constant flurry of activity, cleaning desks, classrooms, events, graduation ceremonies, retirement parties, thank you parties and the frenzied attempts to wrap up projects before they fall apart until the fall.

From my own perspective, I can see how broken the system is, how badly the patches are holding to keep the entire school district from descending into chaos. It does not make me look forward to my own children entering this incredibly flawed and stumbling bureaucratic clusterfuck.

Don't misunderstand me, the people I've worked with, by and large, have been outstanding individuals toiling under difficult circumstances to deliver as much education to the children in the system as possible. It isn't the teachers, staff or support staff. Its the bureaucratic swamp they all have to toil in with ever shrinking budgets and ever growing classes.

I am of several minds in regards to my pending layoff. I'm seeing it as the closing of this chapter of my life, my short stint working in education and getting a close up look at how it works (or doesn't). I'm seeing it as an opportunity to go back into the private sector and make real money again with merit bonuses, raises and no ridiculous union rules keeping shitty workers on the books and forcing better but less senior workers out the door.

This week has been bittersweet and I expect it will continue until school lets out and everyone moves on to their summer schedule.

Looking for the Silver Lining

With each day that passes, I get one day closer to being retrenched again and I need to be compensating each day pushing me out the door with an effort to get another door opened.

I've been working on my materials, my resume, cover letters and the like. It isn't very much fun but I don't expect it to be fun. Hunting for a job is work, work that pays really badly but its work nonetheless.

And what have I learned from my daily and sometimes hourly perusal of job boards? That things are very tough all over and that it is most definitely an employer's market right now. I'm seeing help wanteds offering a ridiculous $15 an hour for skilled employees with master's degrees. Let me be the first to tell you that you are not going to be able to pay your bills AND have money left over to eat with at $15 an hour.

Unless you are somehow able and willing to work 80 hours a week, which I am not nor am I willing.

The good thing about this pending layoff is that I can see it coming, I can prepare and make it a stepping off point rather than a laying off point. So there's some good. And I'd be pretty hard pressed to find a job that paid less than what I'm making now so that's good too, sort of.

There isn't a whole lot of good in this pending layoff but there's some and I'm going to try and focus on the good and leave the bad behind. I probably won't be a hundred percent successful but I think its the effort that's important rather than the outcome.

You Call It Budget Cuts, I Call It Retrenchment

It isn't quite official but it might as well be. My position in the school district will cease to exist on July 1st and my employment in the district along with it.

Which is to say, hit the bricks, punk.

While there are aspects of my employment that I am going to miss, I'm already seeing a bit of a silver lining (stupid optimistic streak!) in that a return to the private sector means more money, merit (not limp seniority rules) raises, bonuses and alot less chair-fillers (the losers who get into a bureaucracy and then do almost nothing but occupy their chair).

I would have stayed if I could have. Despite growing misgivings about the state of education in California and my personal issues with the office manager at one of my schools (who pulled another total asshole move today that had pissed me off before my meeting with HR but doesn't matter in the least to me now that I know its not my fight). I would have stayed despite making about two-thirds of my pay at my last job. I would have stayed despite the communications chasm within and without my department.

But that choice has been taken away from me and now I need to pick myself back up and get another damned job. One upside is that, by taking the bull by the horns and setting up the meeting with HR, I know alot earlier than I would have and can start working my employment cycle earlier.

The severe downside is that there are an awful lot of people who are also out of work and looking.

Its time to start thinking about what kind of job I would like to have next, the kind of people I want to work with (not apathetic bureaucrats) and I can look forward to making substantially more money again. All of which are good things but the process is a drain, financially and emotionally and I was looking forward to not having to do it again for some time. But that's no longer up to me.

Time to sharpen up my resume, dust off my LinkedIn profile and start working my business contacts to get some movement going. Know anyone who needs an exceptionally creative visionary PR/marketing guy who can also fix computers, plan conferences, shepherd CEOs and basically kick ass at any job he's given? Drop me a line.

Next step?
What industry do I want to work in?

Oh yeah, maybe I'll take a drive up to take a big steaming shit on the sidewalk in front of the Governor's office.

Budgeting-itis

One of the headaches that I deal with is the splitting of my work between three different and distinct schools, each with their own budgetary constraints and requirements and procedures. Oh, and staff, students, campuses, principals and levels of technology penetration but that's to be expected.

What I didn't really expect is how much of a pain in the butt it is to get some things paid. My cell phone bill is split three ways, unevenly. My mileage reimbursement is still under negotiation and I don't have any guarantees of a job next year yet. Because of the budget crisis. I think I'll have a job but there aren't any guarantees right now and it is entirely possible that a more senior office worker could step down instead of quitting and boot me out.

I've learned there's nothing more important than having been there longest. Not having been the most useful or efficient, just the one who's stuck it out the longest. Seniority rules the roost regardless. Which seems kind of stupid to me but that's at least partly because I'm one of the lowest ones on the totem pole.

But my principals love me, I've got projects in the works and, until I know different, I'll behave as if I'm going to keep working for the district. Besides, it would totally suck to get laid off again.

When Teachers Eat Their Own

I had my first instance of teachers starting to cannibalize those about to be laid off in the wake of our Governator's lame and incredibly harmful 10% across the board budget cuts for education. These cuts are going to make already strapped schools have to make really hard choices on how to do them when there's no more to be trimmed away and the schools are already running as absolutely lean as possible.

And the education budget cuts are short term savings with really serious long term effects. A less educated populance is less able to compete on the global market, a less educated populance is more prone to drug abuse, violence, crime and depression. A less educated populance is less of an asset and more of a liability.

But I digress, there's nobody that actually thinks the budget cuts are a good idea and I think Schwarzenegger is a big meat-headed coward for attacking education.

But it isn't anything I can do anything about so I'm trying not to let it get to me although I will miss a few teachers and support staff next year when they are unable to get a new contract.

And it is these portending layoffs that have sparked this post. I had a teacher, one I spent two or three day upgrading and improving their classroom computer not more than a month ago, ask me if she could get a new computer. When I asked what she meant, she elaborated by saying that, if some of the teachers and support staff being laid off have a better and newer computer than hers, then she'd like first crack at getting one.

It isn't hard to understand and accept really. Its the nature of business and education. Layoffs spark a feeding frenzy for cube goodies, computers, chairs and more. But any layoffs are months away and it kind of felt like the buzzards have started circling before the explorer lost in the desert has even run out of water or tumbled to the ground.

Also, I had to gently bring the smackdown on someone in our district offices that was emailing the entire technology department with her computer problems. The first time she did it I expected someone more senior to give her a little education but they apparently did not. The second time, I emailed her and asked her to not email the entire department and also gave her instructions on how to log a Help ticket to get a tech automatically assigned to her problem. There is a pretty shocking lack of understanding of how to put technology to good use in the school system and the number of people who are aware of the resources they have available.

A Good Day That Ended Very Badly

The big day of work was everything it promised to be, a big day with a good briefing, a good meeting with a client and then a tasty sushi lunch.

And, with about an hour to go before the weekend and two hours before my client was going to have dinner with one of his absolute heroes (and a rather luminous personality in technology), it was then, an hour to go, two hours for the dinner, that I was called into our operations man's office.

In pretty straight fashion he told me I was getting laid off. The recent departure of clients combined with the lack of a strong pipeline to replace them equals hasta la vista.

The topper is that I talked with my client after his dinner and it was awesome, he had a fantastic time and really made a connection with him.

I've been told I'm allowed to get angry about getting laid off but right now I'm just kind of bummed I don't get to do the PR for this company that is going to kick ass.

But at least maybe I'll get a couple of bike rides and a few mornings sleeping in out of this layoff. I wish I could write code as I've got a website that needs to be developed.

Tags: work, layoff