Another Twitter Etiquette Installment

It has been a couple of months since I wrote up some more thoughts about Twitter and etiquette and why I won't automatically follow you back. And, further, why I stopped following you almost immediately. It is all pretty simple really and I'll try to distill it down to some easy to grasp bullet points.

Top 10 Reasons I Don't Follow You Back
1. Your tweets are nothing but quotes.
2. Your tweets are nothing but links to the same PPC site.
3. Your tweets are nothing but replies to people you do not know.
4. Your tweets are obtuse one-side-of-the-conversation replies.
5. You have no avatar.
6. You have no bio.
7. You have no tweets at all.
8. Your tweets are full of txt spk.
9. Your tweets are so poorly spelled that it hurts my brain to try to decipher them.
10. You do not understand what Caps Lock does and that it should not be used as your default Tweeting style.

Top 5 Reasons I Immediately Unfollowed You
1. You sent an auto-DM thanking me for following you and please go look at some site.
2. You sent an auto-DM telling me you are looking forward to reading my tweets.
3. You sent an auto-DM.
4. You @ replied to me with the exact same message your entire Tweet history is made up of.
5. You are a Yankees/Dodgers fan.

Top 10 Reasons I Followed You
1. You are funny.
2. You are original.
3. You are a living breathing person.
4. You are interested in conversation.
5. You have something to add.
6. You know me in real life.
7. You are a cyclist.
8. You are a photographer.
9. You an mma fighter or fan.
10. You post pictures of yourself often and you're rather gorgeous (see Arianny Celeste for the best example of this phenomenon).

So there ya go. Any questions? Leave 'em in the comments.

The Long Lick Hello

Dogs are dogs and they really exist by a different set of norms. For instance, my dog thinks cat poo is better than caviar and will actively seek it out to eat it.

No, I do not let my dog lick in the face. I don't buy that crap about dog's mouths being cleaner than mine. I don't eat poop. And I don't lick my own butt. So far as you know.

Many times, when we go to the dog park, Nande will arouse the attention of an amorous male hound. Sometimes its a big ol' Shepherd who can run with her and try and get her attention. Sometimes its the beautiful golden retriever puppy that wags his whole body when his tail gets happy. And sometimes the horn dogs happen to be some of the wee folk of the dog park, the lap dogs, the toys and the Napoleon complex mutts (you know, the ones that charge all over the place yapping loudly like they are in charge?).

It was this last that we got on our most recent sojourn to the park. A very cute and eager little black chihuahuanamed Duke. He is probably the smallest serial molester in the world. Once we showed up, he did nothing except try to figure out how to get his nose back up Nande's backside. That and trying not to get crushed by the other big dogs.

And Nande doesn't even seem to notice that there's a dog standing on his hind legs at her butt so it can lick at her private parts that aren't so private apparently. She gets so focused on the ball or stick we're playing with that she literally tunes out the rest of the world. Unless they piss her off and then she snaps around at them with instant Mr. Hyde ferocity. Which works for all of ten seconds and then the snouter is back again.

Is there any polite way to ask someone to stop their dog from sexually molesting your dog? I mean, without them looking at you like you're completely insane and probably a bit of a jerk? Or do I even need a polite way?

Or should I just leave it to Nande to shoo them off when they become bothersome? Anyway you slice it, the image of the little dog, with his tail going a mile a minute, on his back legs is gonna stick with you. And no, I don't have nor would I post, a picture of said canine molestation.