Sporting News Update
In No-One-Gives-the-First-Damn News, Rodman to Come out of Retirement. That's right folks, the NBA's clown royal is coming back to throw temper tantrums, dye his head a different shade of stupid every day and put more metal through his face to appeal to the teenage morons who think its cool.
At his recent press conference to announce his return, Rodman was heard to say "Kobe be getting all that hot mountain girl action, I gotta get on that train!"

Newsflash, Mr. Worm, basketball sucked goat gonads before you played it, it sucked while you played, it sucked after you retired and it will continue to suck now that you're returning to it in the hopes of getting some headlines for your tiny little ego.

In Real Sporting News
The Orioles have signed another high profile stud to bolster up their shitty team (well they have sucked badly for the last few seasons) by signing Javy Lopez to provide some big bat power to Miquel Tejada's MVP swing. Next up? They're going to try damned hard to land Vladimir Guerrero who's a good friend of Miquel's and one of the most dangerous free swinging power hitters in the game. The fact that he's got a freakin' cannon for a right arm is just icing on the cake (read that, its more than impressive to watch him through a laser from deep in right field to home plate with bouncing the ball).

Hot damn, my O's are gonna be a team again! But will it be enough to offset George "I Bought Four World Series" Steinbrenner's Spankees or the resurgent and powerful Boston Red Sox?