This Week in Dumbphuckery

Welcome to Dumbphuckery, a lovely little town occupied by morons, racists, hypocrites, assholes and innocent victims of the aforementioned. Let's take a walk down Main Street and see what we can see.

There's Anthony Saenz, a 6-year-old boy suspended for toy gun at school because the Nerf gun violated the school's zero tolerance policy for weapons. Only thing is that a Nerf gun isn't a weapon, its a toy. I could do far more damage to someone with a rolled up magazine then I could with a Nerf gun. Anthony's been given a one-day suspension by the bureaucrats in his school system. Did I mention the kid is six? WTF? Zero tolerance should not resolve to zero intellect.

Mmmm, Smell the Hypocrisy

It has become very trendy among the GOP and their mouthpieces to publicly state that they are hoping President Obama fails in his quest to fix the country (1, 2, 3, 4). Putting aside the traitorous sentiment for just a moment, by what twisted rationalization do they arrive at this conclusion that wishing for our president to fail is, in any way, helpful to our country?

Under Bush, this country lost millions of jobs, helped mobilize and recruit terrorists around the world because of Gitmo (and other prison) tortures, and spent like there was no tomorrow. The GOP put us in this mess and now they are coming together to call for the failure of the man we elected to try and right our ship?

Think about how loudly and shrilly a wanker like Rush Limbaugh would be bleating if any Democrat had stood up and said that they want Bush to fail during the eight years of darkness? And yet he's trying to pretend he's being patriotic in calling for him to fail?

These are hypocrits and asshats of the highest order. And yet they are lauded loudly by the crowd at their CPAC Kool-Aid fest. They call for the nuking of a major US city and the comment is met with raucous applause. They seem to want America to get worse, they seem to want to see more people thrown from their homes, they seem to want more people ejected from their jobs, they seem to want our education, healthcare and infrastructure to get weaker, they want to make America worse, not better. And they have the audacity to call themselves patriots?

I don't get it, I don't get how someone can be seemingly intelligent enough to tie their shoes and then go about furthering the destruction begun on their watch?

America is in a very, very bad place right now, the nation is reeling from eight years of idiocy, knee-jerkism and outright douchebaggery. Isn't it time to recognize that, to get better, we need to get behind our president and help?

But then, the face of the GOP is Rush "Blow Harder" Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Joe the Unlicensed Plumber and Michael "Token" Steele. This is the party that tried to win the White House with Sarah Palin, an uneducated shit for brains governor of the rape capital of America who preached family values while her unwed teenaged daughter got more and more pregnant, while she was investigated and found guilty of illegally using her powers, while charging Alaskans travel per diems when she slept in her own bed and whose foreign policy can be summed up with the utterly ridiculous "I can see Russia from my office" lie.

The Republican Party is not the party of Americans or America, it is the party of self-service, of looting the coffers while the looting is good, of partisanship for partisanship sake regardless of the current economic realities facing the country. They want Obama to fail because that is the shortest path to them regaining some political power again in America, they want America to get worse so they can take the reins again (and, presumably, give more tax cuts to the rich).

If you are supportive of the Republicans and their warped values and their openly hateful policies and yet you call yourself an American then maybe its time you actually opened up the can of worms you call a brain and examine how your party is really behaving, how your party is working to continue to damage this country amidst the worst economic crisis (of your own goddamned party's doing). The hypocrisy would be comical if it weren't so incredibly self-serving, craven and dangerous.

Awash in the Toxic Hypocrisy

You know what upsets me most about the current state of society in America? It rewards venality, it rewards the soundbite but never looks beyond it to see if the soundbite "fact" is an outright lie.

Weeks ago, I read a Twitter that summed up what I think is wrong with, well, everything. The twitterer commented that she caught herself scanning tweets when they are, at most, 140 total characters. She couldn't be bothered to actually read them in their entirety so she was skimming them for something interesting. A soundbite.

And soundbite politics have a firm grasp on the current election cycle. With incredibly stupid utterances like "A pitbull with lipstick" capturing the fleeting attention of a glazed over America despite clear evidence of a pattern of lies. But the American people don't care if the words ring true or false, they just like an easily digested soundbite because American Idol is about to come back on and they've allotted only thirty seconds to political thought during the commercial breaks.

America doesn't want the best leader, they want the one who can "score" the best zinger, the one who can "diss" the other guy and make him look bad. America doesn't care about health care or the economy or the war in Iraq, they care about appearing to be big and tough and strong.

A good metaphor for America is the Hummer. An oversized and ridiculous gas-sucking vehicle on its own. Now replace the engine with the engine from a 1983 Ford Escort and that's pretty much what America is like right now. A hulking appearance on the outside, brutal and tough looking and ready for action but a whimpering kitten of a beat down and beat up engine on the inside, struggling to keep from seizing as the driver repeatedly mashes the accelerator to the floor to show off.

Only not all Americans are actually like this. Some are deeply thoughtful people who approach this election and the country with an open mind, who want to engage in real debate, who want to, you know, actually try to make the country and the world a better place. Yeah, I know, fucking losers.

Only thing is, I'm one of them. I want my country back, I want my presidential election to not be a circus, I want it to be a real examination of the candidates. I want political discourse to be about real issues, not smokescreen distractions. I want our next leader to have a firm idea of how to set about undoing the grievous harm we've endured under the deeply hateful and criminal Bush administration.

Instead we have ridiculous arguments about whether "uppity" is a racist term (it is). About whether media inquiries into the character and person of Sarah Palin are sexist (they are not). About whether Obama's use of the word "lipstick" is offensive and wrong because Palin already used it in her hate speech keynote (it is not).

And, in the end, the election won't be about issues that are actually important. The election will swing on lies, fabrications, mistruths, misdeeds and carefully controlled media exposure. All the while, the economy goes septic, the war in Iraq goes on, Osama bin Laden (remember him? the Bushies don't seem to) continues to walk free nearly seven years after masterminding the attack on the US, the environment continues to be assaulted by big business cronies of the GOP, reproductive rights are in jeopardy, idiot fundies want to inflict creationism on our already behind and slipping further behind because they are underfunded schools and America is still being sold to OPEC barrel by barrel.

Another Morally Bankrupt Republican Isn't Gay

Craig Says 'I Am Not Gay' but he has been under the microscope for a long, long time. And, if he isn't gay then he's definitly bi-sexual because there's just no way around lewd misconduct with men and to not be at least bi.

Which is fine, if you aren't a freakin' hate-filled hypocrite about it. Which Idaho Senator Larry Craig most certainly is.

Is it bad of me that I delight in watching these holier-than-thou moralists (I wonder if he was one of the one's shouting for Clinton's impeachment when he got a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky? shouldn't be too hard to find out) getting caught with their pants down in men's room and not so they can go to the bathroom? Probably but it really does make me laugh.

Sorry, I just want to poke some more fun at Senator (soon to be ex-Senator) Craig. Here's let put words in his mouth, instead of strange men's penises in public bathrooms.
"I am not gay because I am filled with self-loathing after engaging in man to man sexual relations and that means I am not gay, so there."
"I am not gay but sometimes I fantasize about Erik Estrada and strip searches."
"I am not gay but I've played one on closed circuit tv."
"I am not gay because I have children that I fathered, with a woman. So that makes me totally not gay."
"I am not gay but I am open to new kinds of experiences with strange men while travelling."
"I am not gay but I read it in a magazine once and wanted to try it before I decided I wasn't gay. My findings weren't conclusive the first three hundred times so I was doing one last check to make sure I am not gay."

I'd feel sorry for the old guy but he's taken his stand politically and his sexuality is his own enemy. Talk about compartmentalization and cognitive dissonance.