Choosing a Happier Lens

In much the same way that drunk people make bad choices, like driving, precisely because they are drunk, people who are angry or frustrated are in the worst position to make the right decision to not be angry or frustrated.

And, really, that's all it takes. A conscious decision to not be angry, to not be frustrated. And bam, you are not angry or frustrated. We choose the lens by which we interact with the world. You want to be blue, choose the blue lens. You want to be angry, choose the red lens. You want to be envious, choose the green.

We can opt to not allow our moods to dictate our lives, rather we can dictate our moods.

The trouble is that, occasionally, I forget that I have the remote control. Though, I guess the reality is that it isn't a remote control at all, its all internal, its all hard wired together. But sometimes I forget that I've got the buttons at my command. And I find myself stuck in a crappy mood, determined by what is happening around me, filtered through a lens that I allowed to be placed on my view.

You have the some command control over your life, your moods, your thoughts. It is an empowering realization that should be revisited from time to time to remind oneself of the power over one's personal universe.

You can't control the idiot who cut you off, you can't control the yapping dog across the street, you can't control the douchebag playing his stereo loud enough to rattle your windows at 2 in the morning. In a world where nearly everything is outside of your control, its good to know what you can control.

The Presumption of Under-Controll-ed-ness

Some good friends of mine are in the home stretch final month to have their first child, a little girl. They've been doing the classes and I think the reality of a pending baby is actually starting to settle in on my buddy. I'm pretty sure his wife has been on it it for awhile since she's carrying the package, as it were.

And everytime I see them, I impart a bit of wisdom from my years of being a poppa. Something about mountains of diapers, not sleeping for a year or the wear-you-down style of assault crying that beats down any defenses over the course of hours and hours of crying. You know, the good stuff! But I do also try to balance it out with the joy beyond words that kids bring as well. That there is nothing that will ever compare to the first smile your baby gives you. Or the sweet, sweet gift that is a full and uninterrupted night of sleep.

Because we have been there, we have done (and are doing again) teething and sleepness nights full of rocking, cooing, praying and bargaining (I promise to believe in God if you'll go to sleep, etc.). And I thought we had things well under control. I presumed that we had things well in hand.

Sullivan is here to let me know just how out of control we really are. What a silly illusion our control was and is. He's been teething and fighting a cold that's exascerbated by the teething. And he slept, well, like shit last night. He was up at least three times, crying and requiring. At 2:30 this morning, I changed a big wet diaper and put him down again, he slept for a bit until about 5. Then got restless again.

It is a few minutes past 7 now and we're UP. Oh boy! And he's already been very demanding of food, drink and satisfaction. He is quick with a smile or a scream depending on his satisfaction.

My lesson is learned and I will not presume control that I do not have. Now please go back to sleep, Sully. Pretty please? No wait, its too late now, you'll just take a nap later this morning, how's that sound, boss?