The 24/7 Anna Nicole Smith's Body Channel

Did you know that there are probably three stations in your cable lineup this moment that are discussing the details of what to do with Anna Nicole Smith's body?

Normally the media circus goes away when a person like Anna Nicole dies but not now, now there's a two headed circus of ever-increasing lunacy. On the one hand is the fight to bury her body in Texas or in the Bahamas. Texas is favored by her mother whom she detested and had excommunicated from her life. On the other hand is the paternity of the baby.

Really, it is a much bigger story than Tyra looking chubby in her swimsuit. MUCH bigger. In spite of much screeching to the contrary from Ms. Crazyeyes herself.

Years from now people will talk about the OJ trial and the Anna Nicole's body trial in the same breath.

This sordid and slow motion freak show has served only one good interest so far, write a will. Write one out and then keep it updated.

I shouldn't care about the squabbling over her body but its just so grotesque that it is all but impossible to not pay a little bit of attention to it.

IP Paternity Prediction for Anna Nicole's Rich Baby

I wanted to get this stake in the ground before too many would-be daddies come out of the woodwork to claim potential paternity of Anna Nicole's baby daughter.

My prediction, when the dust settles from the stampede of lovers finally stops, is that Anna Nicole turkey bastered herself with sperm from her late billionaire husband.

Why do I think this? Simple, in a video when she'd just gotten pregnant, she said she had been pregnated. Which I'm thinking was about all her brain could hold when the doctor said she had been IM-pregnated.

So there's my prediction for Anna Nicole Smith's surviving child.

But I kind of hope the photographer is the kid's father. He seems like the least skeevy of the entire bunch.

Hey, there's a reality show in all this ridiculousness, isn't there? Someone should pitch Fox!

[Update: And there's another would-be poppa coming forward, a former bodyguard has admitted to doing the nasty with Anna Nicole. That brings the total to five. And I think someone should have mentioned to Anna that she didn't have to sleep with every single man that crossed her path.

Also, why is anyone paying any attention to her mother? Anna Nicole ex-communicated her mother years ago and hated her, why should her wishes be heard now?]

Tags: Anna Nicole Smith, paternity, turkey baster, impregnated