Is $500 Billion Enough to Distract America?
That's gotta be what ol' Shrubbie McShrubstein is thinking and hoping with his latest oral ejaculation, Bush envisions moon as test, jumping-off point for Mars mission. Let's see now? Illegal oil war in Iraq? Check. Open theft by cronies and drinking buddies? Check. The near destruction of any remaining good will the USA had with allies around the world? Check. Inducing whiplash cringes in advisors every time he opens his stupid face? Check. Economy struggling to right itself after record deficit spending? Check. People beginning to get suspicious about Bush's record as president and in need of something to point to as a success amid the carnage of his presidency? Check.

Here's my take on the conversation between Bush and Clancy, his imaginary talking rabbit friend.
Bush - Man, I'm bored. What good is it being president if the people always get their panties in a bunch when I attack and kick the holy shit out of some godforsaken dirty oil rich country way on the other side of the world? Don't they know its got foreigners living there?
Clancy - Its because Britney Spears is boring people. You should make that Hilary Duff girl do something really stupid and naked. Or the Olsen Twins, that'd keep a huge male demographic off your ass for a while. Look how well the Paris Hilton sex video did for you.
B - That's true. But it was your idea to film Paris with the NightStalker X5000 Mil-spec night vision gear, it combined my two favorite things. Young, vacant but beautiful blond twinks and military gear, the only thing that video needed was a few explosions and maybe a car chase, damn. I always think of the best stuff too late.
C - Don't worry, your wicked awesomeness. There is still plenty of time to have a car chase. Maybe you could arrange to have Scott Peterson transferred and turn THAT into a car chase?
B - Nah, though I can relate to the guy and his troubles, he's poison now. Going near him will make me look even worse. Besides, I hear he smells like pee.
C - Well, let's see then. You need a new idea, something big enough to distract a whole nation and expensive and something that demonstrates America's top dog position too?
B - Damn, this is harder than I thought. Maybe I should check in with Dick, he's always got swell ideas.
Transcription stops here as Bush breaks down into a ten minute giggling session.
C - Okay. Go and check with Dick.
Bush goes off down the hall to the special VP's crapper, Dick's "undisclosed secret location".
B - Hey Dick, can I ask you a question?
Dick - Well sure, Georgie. What's on your mind? Jello or cookies with lunch or what kind of Lunchable to have?
B - Oooh, damn, I hadn't gotten to lunch yet, now I'm gonna be distracted. But no, I was wondering what we could do to distract the country now that the Iraq thing is starting to bite us in the ass?
A grunt, a moan and loud plop and splash ensues.
D - Man, that cleared out some space. Um, what was that you said, Georgie?
B - That's it!
And Bush went skipping merrily back to his playroom where Clancy was punching random codes into the nuclear football in an attempt to destroy the world.
B - Clancy! You're not supposed to mess with that thing. Dick said so!
C - Ah, whatever, what'd he have to say anyway?
B - He mentioned something about space which made me think about travelling to space. Let's go to the moon, build a cool moon base and then rocket to Mars!
Clancy - That sounds like a great idea, your most smartest wonderstud master of all that is.

Bush then spent the rest of the afternoon roaring around the White House with his arms out making rocket engine sounds intersparsed with "otherworld" beeping noises until it was nap time.

Tech Assassin Pleasure
By the way, it is a strangely marvelous pleasure to watch pop ups get killed off by Pop-Up Stopper. Some sites still subscribe to the stupid idea that people want to have their web surfing slowed down by the addition of this stupid marketing. But they pop up, then they're killed and I see a circle with a line through it. Sooooo nice. Hahaha. Suck on that one, lazy marketers.

Finally
Folks, let this guy instruct you on what not to do when the country is in an Orange Level Terror Alert. Its stupid at any time but it is far dumber to drop a dime on your relatives accusing them of being Al Qaeda operatives.

Oops, I Lied, One more Thing, Some Adult Video Awards Skin
AVN Slide Show, more silicon and empty skulls than you could shake your stick at. And another link to balance out the skin flick awards, Giant Catfish.