Why Alcohol Should be Served at Work
From The Bartend comes a reasonable list of why we should all be getting drunk at work. My commentary is noted.
1. It's an incentive to show up. and throw up
2. It leads to communications that are more honest. Drunks aren't honest, they just want to get laid.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay. Right on the money here
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear. And this is a good thing?
5. It encourages car-pooling. And multiple car pile ups in the parking lots
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. And drunk people are SOOOOO happy, aren't they?
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. Thanks, I'll still take my time off to let my liver dry out.
8. It makes fellow employees look better. This is a big seller on the concept
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. Um, wouldn't employees need to puffing some loco weed for this one?
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. Aren't 10 and 11 just a little bit similar?
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar. And the boss's desk would see lots of late night nookie action.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas. But drunk people's ideas are really pretty stupid usually.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross. Why not?

I see a corporate sector of drunks, red nosed snockered losers trying to tuck their shirts back into their pants while stumbling back to their cubes and their poison of choice. Sure, it'd be fun for a week or so but once cars started rolling off assembly lines with three wheels and two windshields, I think we'd have to rethink the drink.

Unrelated News of the Pending War
Came across Where is Raed? after having heard of it several times. And, while the blog is well written from the perspective of someone inside Iraq right now with the war about to topple on to them, I was most struck by this massive picture of Baghdad (massive while it loads and then Windows just shrunk it all the heck down, wtf?). Anyway, worth a peek at both. Unless you're burying your head in the sand and repeating the ShrubCo mantra "We MUST disarm Iraq before they kill us all, the president said so and that means it MUST be true."
But don't you worry, sand breathers, I fully believe in karmic payback and supporting an unjust war will have to come back and bite you in the ass sometime. I support our troops over there, don't get me wrong, just not why they are over there. There is a big difference.

Upon a further reading of Where is Raed? I am struck by how human the whole thing is made. Reading about the preperations businesses are making in the face of war, rumors about Saddam's family, news of what is actually happening on the ground level in Iraq humanizes the war in a way that makes it seem even less necessary, more overkill than anything else. US radio stations are playing translated messages of how to properly surrender to US forces and Shrub is attempting to reiterate that this is a war against Saddam, not Iraq. If Saddam will leave then Iraq will be spared another ass whooping. Remember Desert Storm? I do.

I didn't want war before and I don't want it now but I am, as so many others are, resigned to the reality that it doesn't matter in the least what I want. I have no political power and that's the only kind that can do anything to stop this war from happening. That and popping a cap in ShrubCo's dumbass but that would be treason of the highest order and I am, above all else, an American and a patriot. Oh yeah, that and I don't want to spend the rest of my life getting raped in Federal Prison.