When No Means NOOOOOOO, NOT IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH YOU UTTER AND COMPLETE FREAK (in a bad way)
It will happen every six months or so, sometimes a bit quicker, sometimes a bit slower but it'll happen. I'll hear about some idiot guy who's got his tiny little brain wrapped around some fantasy relationship that doesn't exist. And his only means of dealing with it is to become a stalker, either a real life scary bugger who hangs out on a woman's street watching her house. Or a cyber stalker who emails long, windy missives that alternate between utter sweetness and pathological lunacy.

Well, guess what? Its happening again to a friend of mine. She's a friend I know from the online world and I'm guessing she would just as soon stay anonymous but will leave that up to her. If she would like to be known then she can let me know.

But here's the basic rundown without getting into too much of the history of it all.
This is a man who was involved in her life, not in a relationship way like they were together. That's never happened and to my knowledge she's never even kissed the guy. But he was there for a few very important moments in her life and they impressed something into the soft grey matter he squishes around in his skull. He took to writing long rambling emails to her at her work, talking about stuff that was pretty inappropriate for a "friend" to be bringing up.

A couple of months have passed since that point and he's back at it now, writing really weird emails like demanding she attend counseling with him or she'll be responsible for his breakdown! Yeah, can you say WACKO? I know I can. The latest installment in the most aggravating and unnecessary saga is that she's now had to change her email address at her place of business to try and avoid him. She's too nice to blatantly come out and tell the guy to fuck off, so I've asked her if I can do it for her. Or to get his email address so some of his cyber-freak can be returned upon him by some of the true pros in the business.

A quick note to any idiots out there currently pestering people online or by phone or on the corner. The only (ONLY) possible resolution to the situation is for you to go away. You can choose to go peacefully or you can breath through a tube for six months as your face bones slowly mend. But go away. No woman has ever fallen for her stalker and male friends of theirs will almost certainly step in and pound the snot out of you. Go see a doctor, see a shrink, masturbate like a monkey on industrial strength Viagra but leave the women alone. Their lives are already too damned tough and they do not need your personal brand of freak tossed in.

How do I know all of this? I've been stalked myself on a couple of occasions. By women I'd been involved with and had realized that they were totally not the right woman for me. They didn't quite see it that way. Of course, I'm much less susceptible to physical threats because I'm a man but there is a fear of just how unbalanced the other person might truly be. We've all see Fatal Attraction and we all know how it ends. The stalker dies dirty. Take that lesson to heart and think about what you could possibly "win" in this situation. Nothing. The only thing you can win is a busted face and body by people who care about the person you are scaring by your unrequited and unrequitable fixation (its not love, you fool, its a fixation, love's a whole different ballgame).

Stalkers are poorly wired humans who need to be rewired before they can actually function in society. I'm thinking electro shock would help. Electro shock applied to their nuts but then, I've always been prone to the extreme. I believe that convicted rapists should be castrated, either chemically or physically, you've proven you can't control your libido so we'll just remove it altogether. Its not like the gene pool will miss your contribution. But that's another post for another time.

Other Blog News
I added a disclaimer to the blog today in an effort to head off issues that people have had with me and my writing in the past. Read it, learn it, live it. Or not. Its there as a place marker more than anything else to point to when someone gets all pissy for something I wrote. Lighten up universe, there's no reason to take everything so damned seriously!

In Other, Medical Science News
Scientists have discovered that its easier to lose surgical instruments in obese people. Risk for Left-Behind Surgery Tools Higher in Obese which has got to be one of the most straight forward conclusions possible. Is it harder to lose something in alot of space or a little space? Come on now, don't be shy, raise your hand if you think its easier to lose something in more space. Well Duh! Geez, I hope this was a privately funded study.